


In Between Days

by Kathris89



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-02-01 17:00:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12709107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathris89/pseuds/Kathris89
Summary: In an alternate universe where the Reapers never existed, Shepard has a very different life. She has a serious relationship with a former hitman, and fills her days investigating cases as a PI. Although soulmates are a common ocurrence, she hasn't met hers and knows she's not Thane's soulmate, so what happens when she finally does meet him and he also has a life that didn't plan on including her?





	1. Choices of the mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second fanfic about FemShep and Garrus, but it's not set in the same universe. This is a completely different story. I hope you like this idea, it won't be too long (no more than ten chapters, maybe). If you do like it, please R&R!! Without further ado, carry on!

In the beginning, people thought soulmates were just a chance encounter. Something divine, gifted to a chosen few. This idea came to be because, in the beginning, every species had started out in their own planet, in a small piece of land. At first, you would only meet those within your tribe, and it was rare to find your soulmate there. What if yours was across the sea, in a land not yet discovered by the other? And then, when species learned to fly and conquered the skies, they discovered the mass relays, and realized their mistake. Soulmates were out there, but ' _out there'_  had gotten a whole lot bigger.

* * *

“How are William and your brother?”

Thane’s voice was the first thing that greeted her from the living room. Shepard dropped the keys in the silver bowl by the door and groaned dramatically, a smile starting to tug at her lips.

“Dad’s fine, insisting he doesn’t want us to live closer” Shepard brushed a few stray dark hairs from her forehead, walking towards the sofa and sitting down next to Thane. The former hitman was drinking a cup of tea, and moved to let her sit against him, draping an arm over her shoulders. “John brought Evan and Miranda.”

Thane laughed a little, understanding her groan.

“I believe Evan’s done wonders for your sister-in-law’s charm” Thane said, and it was Shepard’s turn to laugh.

Miranda, her sister-in-law, was a pain in the ass. She’d never really liked her, and they’d never really gotten along, but in an unfortunate turn of events, Miranda was John’s soulmate, and his stubborn twin had decided he didn’t want to let her go. Shepard rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess she’s less like a piranha now, and more like a grumpy old cat” Thane laughed lightly, pulling her closer, and Shepard settled in next to him, closing her eyes and enjoying their closeness.

She absently traced Thane’s black marking over his left hand and felt a little pang in her chest. She could picture John’s mark on his neck, a red loopy thing that was mirrored on Miranda’s own neck. It was a little frustrating, seeing the marks of soulmates on people. She was glad not everyone had them somewhere visible. And even more glad to know they didn’t always appear, seeing as some people didn’t always get a chance to meet their soulmate.

It was a curious thing, soulmates. It was different for everybody. Some people dreamed about theirs all their lives, a silhouette that snapped into focus when you actually met them. Others swore there was a special scent, something unique that intensified once you found your soulmate, and that fell into place when you touched them. Some had said to have heard their voice calling them, something dreamlike, and then you’d meet them and you knew it was them, because the voice had belonged to them and had beckoned to you. The end, of course, was the same no matter what had been true for you. Once you touch your soulmate a twin mark appears on both of you, same shape and color, often in the same place though not always. The mark will vary on intensity depending on your bond, and as you grow closer together, the mark will become clearer and sharper.

Shepard didn’t have her mark, and therefore she knew she hadn’t met her soulmate. She wasn’t even sure there was someone out there “ _meant_ ” for her, and she didn’t much care either way. She’d never dreamed about some mysterious silhouette, or of a particular scent, or voice or whatever the hell it was people said they felt. She supposed some people simply didn’t have a soulmate, and she was one of them.

But Thane had had one. His soulmate had been his late wife Irikah, and the mark on his hand had faded with time, but never disappeared. His father, William, had married her mother Hannah before either had gone off Earth, John and her already born. But their parents weren’t soulmates, there was never a mark for them, and it was just fine. They still loved each other, and they had been happily married for thirty years before Hannah had died a couple of years earlier. So, love was still possible for simple mortals, as Shepard like to think of herself, it just was something different than for other people. Thane loved her, and she loved him. And that was fine.

* * *

Shepard was a PI of some renown on the Citadel. She mostly worked alone, though sometimes she’d work with someone, if the job called for it. It was something she enjoyed very much, her job, and one that didn’t necessarily involve a lot of red tape. She liked doing things her way, and if she could punch someone in the face, then she was pleased. Once upon a time she’d considered becoming military, but she quickly decided that wasn’t the life for her. Shepard needed her freedom, and rules were not really her style. That was more up John’s alley, so she let her brother be the prodigal son, and she got to enjoy moving behind the scenes.

She’d had a very interesting career so far. Her job got her into all kinds of situations, and she’d met a lot of interesting people, including a justicar hunting down her daughter. Or a crazy krogan Warlord and his tank-bred perfect krogan; that had been a hoot. And that was how she’d met Kasumi in her early years of becoming a private eye, when the girl from Asian ascent had hired her for a quick and easy job getting back some stolen property. Well, it hadn’t really been easy, or quick for that matter. In fact, there had been explosions and bullets involved, but then again, that seemed to be case for many of Shepard’s jobs. Her father used to call her Murphy, everything that could go wrong, would go wrong if she was involved, but hey, at least she always figured it out. She had learned to deal with it. Shepard'd made some fantastic friends and contacts, and had accumulated a lot of favors, she was a powerful woman in her own world, and she wouldn’t change it for anything.

Shepard walked into the elevator pressing the button for the 23rd floor absently, and started humming. She wasn’t working any case right now, having just finished a rather boring case of divorce. Providing evidence of adultery wasn’t really her cup of tea, it involved a lot of following around people that believed themselves sneaky and cunning, and that were definitely not. But Kasumi had been very clear last time that she wasn't going to do it next time. And so, grumbling and whining, Shepard had done it. She wondered idly if maybe Liara had called with some new and exciting case. Her asari friend was a great source of information, and had been an invaluable resource for her work. And she never failed to send her way some really good paying jobs, that were always incredibly interesting. Shepard smiled wistfully as she stepped off the elevator and walked towards the door to her office.

The office she rented had a futuristic looking eye on the door, a not-so-subtle reference to the fact that she was a private investigator. She’d decided early on to make the design as ambiguous as possible, so as not to offend any of the multiple species that inhabited the Galaxy. Shepard pressed her palm to the DNA scanner and the door opened to reveal Kasumi lounging on her chair, feet propped up on her cluttered desk. As she came in, the dark-eyed girl turned to her.

“Someone’s been pinging you all morning, did your omni-tool break?” said Kasumi as she played something on her own omni-tool.

“Good morning to you too, sunshine” Shepard answered, looking down at her omni-tool and frowning. It wasn’t broken, but it _was_ off. “Huh…”

Shepard sat down at her desk, which only held her terminal and a couple of honest-to-god books. It also made Kasumi’s desk appear even more messy by comparison.

“Bailey called” Kasumi said, still not looking up from her game. Shepard looked up at her, blinking slowly.

“Bailey?” she repeated confused, “Captain Bailey?” she felt compelled to say. Kasumi looked up and rolled her eyes at her.

“How many Baileys do you know?”

“You’d be surprised” Shepard said and Kasumi scoffed. Both of them knew the answer. She only knew one Bailey, and it was indeed the Captain of C-Sec. It surprised her to hear from him, she didn’t usually work with the police, her clients tended to want more anonymity. Then again, maybe the Captain had only called to check on her. He did that from time to time, thanks to Anderson’s pestering, like an annoying older brother. Curiously enough, John never seemed to have that pesky little habit.

She pulled the messages from her omni-tool as it turned on, and found that she had a lot of missed calls. Frowning, she punched Bailey’s contact in and turned to the wall behind her desk. The hologram appeared from a projector behind her. Shepard noticed Kasumi putting down her game, and was now waiting with her. They only waited a couple of pings before Bailey’s face appeared in front of them.

“Morning Captain, heard you were looking for me” said Shepard grinning sideways. Bailey, only a few years older than her, managed to not roll his eyes at her. She smirked.

“Ah, Shepard, I was hoping to hear from you sooner rather than later” said Bailey, he nodded to Kasumi, “Good morning, miss Goto.”

“Morning Captain” Kasumi said with a smile.

“Well, what can I do for you Captain?” Shepard said intertwining her fingers in her lap. Bailey moved in his chair before turning to them again.

“Your channel’s secure, I assume” Shepard shared a glance with Kasumi, before nodding slowly.

“Of course” she said, and Bailey nodded slowly, mirroring her movements.

“I have a favor to ask” Shepard raised her eyebrows in surprise, Bailey briefly smiled, having noticed her expression, “There’s a missing persons’ case we’ve been trying to solve, but it has proved more difficult than we thought. My people have made little to no progress, and I think it’s time for your… unique approach to the situation.”

Kasumi laughed by her side, and Shepard felt the beginnings of excitement.

“Can you tell me anything more specific?” she asked, and Bailey shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“I’d rather you meet with my detective so he can brief you on what’s happened and what we’ve discovered.”

“Alright…”

“I’ll send over the information along with the time and place for your meeting. Once he’s briefed you, I’d like to talk to both of you.”

“Can I help?” said Kasumi, unable to keep silent anymore. Bailey glanced back at her and smirked.

“I assumed you would either way, miss Goto” he said and Kasumi actually giggled.

***

Garrus woke up to the smell of breakfast. A small smile curved his mouth and he clicked his plates reflexively. It was a smell that never failed to remind him of Palaven and the place he’d grown up in. He got up and headed for the bathroom, figuring he still had time for a shower before Kiri called him down to eat.

Garrus had been living with Kiri for three years, they were engaged and close to getting married. It was a bond approved by both families in order to strengthen their position in the hierarchy. But they were not soulmates. Turians, though many did find their soulmates, decided to bond to others and have better positions in their lives. It was a practical matter, and it was one Garrus had grown up believing in. He cared for Kiri enough, he loved her and he knew she loved him, so he was content to be with her.

However, since he had turned fourteen, he’d had a recurring dream in which a voice kept calling him by his name, and then whispering ‘no’. it was infurating since he could never place the voice, and there wasn't a face or even a shadow to go along with the voice. It was just an indistinct voice, always repeating the same words and then fading back into his mind. Garrus shook his head, trying to put the memory away from his mind, as he always did, but for some reason today it seemed harder to ignore. He sighed and grabbed for his towel.

Garrus stepped out of the shower and turned his mind to the case as he got ready. The people that had gone missing were all from different species and in a variety of ages. He didn’t know how they were chosen, or why. And it was driving him mad. Bailey had promised to get him help, an independent contractor. He sneered at the thought of people that thrived to do things outside the rules. But he was desperate, and Nihlus had convinced him it wasn’t such a bad idea to get a new perspective. Perhaps this person would prove valuable in the end.

“Good morning Garrus” Kiri smiled at him from the kitchen. Garrus watched the way the light caught Kiri’s white markings and clicked his plates appreciatively.

“Morning,” he said and bent a little to nuzzle her forehead. Kiri laughed a little and turned to serve their meal. Garrus sat down.

“You’ve got that meeting today, right? With Bailey’s contact?” Kiri said as she busied herself with a cup of coffee she put in front of him. Garrus nodded, starting to eat and smiling at the familiar flavor of his mother’s recipe.

“Yes, tonight in the abr at Silver Coast Casino. Bailey thought it would work best as a cover if we met over drinks,” Kiri nodded slowly as she ate her own breakfast.

“I guess it’s a good idea, just don’t drink too much” she teased and Garrus laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave. But I think you’d better not wait up for me, I don’t know how long it’ll take, I have to brief them on the case” Kiri rested her chin on her hand while she looked at him thoughtfully.

“I hope they’ll be able to help you out with the case, it’s been going on too long” she said, and Garrus groaned in response. It _had_ been too long.

***

By nightfall, Shepard was already finished getting ready, wearing a little black dress Kasumi had convinced her to buy a few months before for a party they attended. She surveyed herself in the mirror, regarding her dark mahogany curls falling just below her shoulders. It was her one true vanity, her hair, and Shepard would never admit how much she took care of it, but she did, always keeping it shiny and soft with a variety of oils and shampoos and whatnot. She smiled up at herself, happy with the outcome. She didn’t wear too much makeup, deciding to use just enough to make her green eyes stand out. As she walked down the stairs of her apartment, Thane waited for her by the foot of the stairs, and he smiled with a predatory look that never failed to send a shiver down her spine.

“You look gorgeous,” he said, extending a hand to help her down the last couple of stairs. Shepard smiled satisfied, feeling a slight blush on her cheeks.

“I clean up nicely,” Shepard agreed, and Thane laughed a little, bringing her closer to him and kissing her.

“You do look gorgeous, even more so _without_ anything on” he assured her, whispering against her lips with a smile. Shepard had to make a conscious effort not to pull him back upstairs and forget all about Bailey’s favor.

“I’ll be sure to come back early so we can talk a little more about that statement, mister” she whispered back, a grin on her lips. Thane laughed a little, letting go of her.

“I’ll be waiting” he told her, and Shepard laughed winking back at him. She _really_ needed to go.

***

Garrus was waiting already at the bar, moving restlessly on his civvies. He wasn’t used to going out to bars anymore, his new work as detective taking too much of his time. Sometimes Kiri complained about it, that they never went out on dates anymore, but Garrus wasn’t sure he minded that much. Truthfully, he preferred to focus on his job and didn’t find the appeal on going out to bars. It had earned him quite a few nicknames back on C-Sec, and Nihlus was sure to make fun of him from time to time, but his partner had learned to accept this side of him, he wondered why Kiri couldn't do the same.

But tonight was different, he was on a mission and about to meet Bailey’s contact, and it had to seem as if they were meeting over drinks for a fun night out. He felt really stupid. He pulled out his omni-tool, checking the time. It was five to ten, still a little time left, but Garrus was a punctual man who preferred people that also respected his time. He really hoped this Shepard person would be on time. The message he got from Bailey only stated the time and place for the meeting, with the name L. Shepard listed as the contact he’d meet. He huffed and looked around, surveying the bar. It was a nice enough place, where the rich and the not so much gathered for a few hours of vice. He didn’t know why Bailey had thought to have them meet here, but he supposed it could be worse, they could’ve met on Chora’s Den. He shivered at the thought.

He heard a pair of heels clicking behind him and turned towards the sound. A woman in a black dress had just arrived, glancing around as if looking for something. She was a human woman with the most bright pair of green eyes he’d ever seen on anyone, regardless of species. And somehow Garrus _knew_ she was his contact. He sat up straighter, and the movement caught the woman’s eyes. She turned towards him and smiled easily, walking over to him.

Garrus had always been intrigued by humans’ hair, the way it bounced and the variety of colors it came in. He thought it was a strange and useless feature, but he found it interesting. So while Shepard walked over to him, he took the liberty to watch her hair move with her every step. It caught the light in different angles, bringing out a different shade each time. It was mesmerizing.

“Garrus Vakarian?” the woman asked as she sat next to him, he turned to look her in the eyes and nodded, she smiled and offered her hand in the familiar way humans did. Garrus extended his own and took hers. The instant their hands met, he felt it. A scorching flame erupting somewhere inside him and exploding in the back of his neck. They both let go immediately, looking at one another in shock. His heart began to pound on his chest, and he could see the same sort of panic reflected in Shepard´s eyes. “No…” she whispered.

And it clicked. Inside his head, he could hear it clearly now. It was her, Shepard’s voice that had been repeating those same words for years in his dreams. < _You’re my soulmate_ > he thought sluggishly, incapable of speech. She was looking at him with wide eyes, her chest heaving in rapid, short breaths. Slowly, she reached with one hand to the back of her neck, feeling for something he couldn’t see. She seemed about to say something when he found his voice.

“I’m engaged” he finally managed to say, barely above a whisper, and unable to look away from her.

Shepard nodded, bringing her hand back down. She looked away and cleared her throat before looking back at him.

“Let’s get to work, and pretend this didn’t happen, shall we?” she said, her eyes shinning with determination. Garrus didn’t know how to answer, except nod and take a generous drink from his beer. “Bailey said you would tell me more about this case, what can you tell me?”

Garrus took a few calming breaths, his neck was burning but he was afraid to touch it. He closed his eyes and counted to five before turning back to Shepard. She was watching him with a fierce expression he didn’t know how to interpret, but she seemed adamant to keep the meeting on track. He shook his head imperceptibly and thought about the case.

“It’s been happening for over four months, but we didn’t realize they were related” he said slowly, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand and not on the woman sitting next to him. “A few weeks ago, I noticed a pattern. More than a dozen people, all from different species and different parts all appearing worlds away from where they were taken and any memory of their time away erased” he chanced a look at Shepard and noticed her bright eyes focused on what he was saying. She held up a hand and turned to her omni-tool.

“Wait a second, I’m going to buy us a little privacy” she said, touching a series of buttons in rapid succession and turning to wave over a waitress. The asari girl came over and smiled at them with excessive perkiness.

“What can I do for you, sweetie?” she said, winking at them. Garrus was surprised by Shepard’s charming smile. She leaned over to the asari girl, just flirty enough to engage the waitress.

“Can you get us one of those private booths? I promise I’ll make it worth your time” she said, winking in turn. The girl blushed a little and giggled. She looked around and over at the bartender before smiling down at Shepard.

“Follow me,” she said and Shepard stood up, placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

“You’re a doll. Come on, big guy, let’s not keep her waiting” Shepard said, taking him by the arm and keeping up the pretense. Garrus, amazed by her antics, simply followed while Shepard guided him without letting go of him.

The asari showed them to one of the private booths that had tinted windows that could be shut for those patrons who needed a little extra space and privacy. She stood next to the doors, waiting for them to catch up. Shepard let go of him and signaled for him to sit. She turned to the asari, leaning over to her and placing another quick peck on her cheek before pulling away.

“Thanks” she said, and the asari girl giggled again, giving Shepard the button for the doors.

“Anytime sweetie” she said before walking away. Shepard waited a few seconds before she pushed the button and the doors closed, leaving them isolated from the rest of the bar in a sound proof private room.

Shepard sat down next to him, reaching for her small clutch bag and taking out a curious looking lighter, which she then proceeded to open and press a couple of buttons within. As a small shield erupted from the lighter to envelop them in a faint blue light, Shepard finally turned towards him. Garrus was confused by what had happened in the last few minutes, and he was sure it showed on his face, for Shepard grinned a little before signaling her lighter on the table.

“This is something my partner and I have worked on for a few years now, it’ll guaranty that we’re not overheard. It disrupts any signal, either coming in or going out, and also muffles sound to anyone outside the barrier” she explained, and Garrus couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Why doesn’t C-Sec have something like that?” he wondered aloud, and Shepard shrugged.

“It isn’t exactly made of legally obtained parts or tech” she said, and looked back at him. Garrus nodded, understanding the dilemma but wondering if it might not have been more beneficial to sometimes ignore those regulations in favor of justice. “Anyway, this way you can tell me exactly what we’re dealing with and the people out there will simply assume we’re getting it on.” Garrus sputtered, flustered by the thought of people thinking they were having casual sex while everyone roamed out. Shepard laughed at his discomfort. “The thought of sex scares you, big guy?” she said, arching an eyebrow and Garrus cleared his throat, somewhat offended at her jest.

“I’m fine” he said curtly, and Shepard snickered. He decided to ignore her and turn back the conversation to the case. “No one had thought the cases were connected, because the disappearances happened in a wide range of planets, and from different species. It’s not that strange for people to disappear from time to time, and some people thought their loved ones had been taken by gangs, or some thought of slaver rings, and some didn’t even have families to miss them so they were never reported as missing. But I discovered something” he said, taking out his omni-tool and bringing out a Galaxy map.

“It’s a spiral” Shepard muttered, glancing at the red dots appearing on the map. She leaned closer to inspect the map with him. Garrus nodded.

“I gathered the reports of these people that had been missing but that had appeared a few days later on another planet in a strange city. They didn’t have any memory from being taken or what had been done to them. The analysis didn’t show up any anomalies, no drugs, nothing missing. It was just as if someone had erased their memories and simply decided to place them somewhere else for kicks.” Shepard looked at the map, biting on her bottom lip in thought. “We don’t know who’s taking them, or why, but I decided to put the places they’d been disappearing from and where they’ve been reappearing. That’s how I discovered the spiral, and that the cases were connected.”

“What made you think they were connected? I mean, they must have been reported missing on their home planets, not on the extranet. How did you even know there was something there?” she asked, looking up at him with sharp eyes. Garrus smiled proudly.

“I was looking for information on another case when I noticed the sudden increase in missing persons reports, and it didn’t take long to find a few scandalous notes about people with amnesia turning up in unexpected places. From there, it was simply a point of following the thread.” Shepard nodded slowly, leaning back on the soft couch, biting again her lower lip in deep thought. Finally, she turned back to him.

“What do you need my help with?” she said, and Garrus sighed frowning.

“Bailey thinks this might be bigger than we originally thought. The technology needed to erase someone’s memories that specifically is fairly complicated and delicate, not something easily achieved or obtained, even by the Council. So, we have to work under the assumption that we’ll be stepping on some quite important toes, and we have to be very discreet so they won’t get scared and run for cover. We have one shot to catch them before this escalates, and stop whatever they’re trying to do. And Bailey thought you’d be the best person for this kind of job. He trusts you” he said, hands intertwined on his lap and looking up at her.

Shepard looked back at him in silence for a few minutes, pondering on what he’d said. Slowly, she nodded and straightened in her seat.

“We have to keep it on the down low, then” Garrus nodded, flexing his fingers thoughtlessly, Shepard moved to sit at the edge of the seat looking deeply into his eyes and making him nervous all over again. “I know Bailey trusts me, but I need to know if you do too, Vakarian” Garrus flinched at the way she said his surname, she seemed suddenly serious and he wondered vaguely why she wasn’t on C-Sec. He cleared his throat and shook himself from his nervousness. He looked back at her with the same fierceness she displayed.

“I’ll give you a shot, since Bailey thinks so highly of you, but one wrong move and I’m done. I won’t endanger my mission for some PI” he said, recalling his deep mistrust for people that did things their own way.

Shepard actually smiled at his words.

“You’ve got a deal, Vakarian” she smirked and presented her hand again. Familiar with the gesture to ‘ _seal the deal_ ’, Garrus extended his own and shook hers.

Satisfied, Shepard took the lighter from the table and pressed it again, the barrier withdrawing until it disappeared. When she leaned over, Shepard’s hair moved slightly, exposing part of her neck, and he saw a lavender tinted mark. His breath caught, his hand finally reaching behind to his own neck, where he’d felt the burn earlier, and his heart beat faster again.

Shepard heard his intake, and when she turned and saw him pressing his hand to his neck, her expression turned somber. She sat back down, and breathed in slowly.

“You’re engaged” she said quietly, and Garrus found himself captivated by her words. “And I’ve been living with someone for the last two years” he was surprised by the sudden pang on his chest at her words. She smiled without mirth, looking him in the eye. “So, that’s how things are. Look, I know people say finding your soulmate changes everything and all that, but… but we are goddamn grownups, and we get to choose. Many people do it, why not us?”

Garrus lowered his hand, and sighed before looking back at her.

“We are grownups” he repeated with a small smile, and was rewarded by Shepard’s own smile. “I mean, we’ve been talking for the last two hours and I don’t even know your name” he said and Shepard laughed.

“So, let’s agree to solve this case, and we’ll keep to our lives as they’ve been, you with your fiancee and me with my boyfriend, and we’ll just be temporary partners, all right?”

Garrus smiled feeling more relaxed.

“Alright” he agreed.

Together, they exited the private booth, Shepard linking her hand through his arm to dispel any suspicion on their affairs, and they walked out of Silver Coast Casino hand in hand.

 

‘ _And it all ends the same, cause in time everything must change_ ’

\- Kimbra, ‘ _Come as you are_ ’


	2. To learn the Truth

Vakarian had left on a shuttle, and Shepard hadn’t asked where he lived. They agreed on a meeting the next day with Bailey where they could oversee the details of their mission together and then said goodbye with a court and formal nod.

She felt the mark on her nape, like a scorching tattoo that she could barely ignore. She resisted the impulse to do so while Vakarian was in sight, and once she was sure he was gone, she still fought the instinct to touch it. Shepard walked home, blowing stray strands of hair from her face. Her apartment was in the Silversun Strip, a magnificent place she had bought from Anderson a few years back.

She dragged her feet, dreading the moment she saw Thane. The way she’d left earlier usually meant they’d pick up right where they’d let off. But it was kind of late, so she hoped…

Shepard sighed as she came face-to-face with the door. Her stomach was in knots, and she placed a hand over it reflexively. She _really_ didn’t want to barf.

Taking a deep breath, Shepard raised her hand and opened the door to find the apartment in merciful darkness. The only sounds came from the waterfalls, and she thanked whatever higher power was listening that Thane had decided to go to sleep instead of waiting up for her.

Deciding she couldn’t put it off any longer, Shepard walked to the bathroom on the guest room downstairs. Her heart felt like it was fluttering in her stomach, and she could feel her blood pumping in her ears. How had this happened? She didn’t even want a soulmate, she’d never looked for one. But then again, who spent their lives actually looking for one’s soulmate? It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Pointless.

Turning on the light, she faced her reflection for the first time since leaving that night. She thought she would look somehow different, although that made absolutely no sense. The only real difference to her appearance would be the mark. And _that_ she could feel. Sighing again, Shepard frowned at her reflection, determination in her features. She breathed in deep and moved her hands to her hair, moving it over her shoulder, baring the back of her neck. Knowing there was no point stalling any longer, she turned and looked at her new soulmate mark.

It was a horizontal oval of loops and knots in purple notes, with sharp edges in the corners. She didn’t miss the resemblance to an eye, and it annoyed her in a level she wasn’t ready to admit. Her heart was in a storm, and she could feel its erratic beating against her ribs. Suddenly she could only hear the thumping of her heartbeat in her ears. She grabbed the edges of the sink, closing her eyes and trying to get her breathing under control. There was no point trying to deny the mark existed, it was there, clear as day, and there was no way in the universe to get rid of it. She’d heard of people trying, tattooing over the marks in an effort to banish it. But the mark always seemed to break through anything. As long as a person lived, the soulmate mark would be on their skin, and it was impossible to deface it. She had been condemned the minute Vakarian touched her. And now, she had to tell Thane about the whole ordeal.

***

Garrus was still in a daze, lying in bed and trying to sleep. He had been tossing and turning for hours in a vain effort to summon sleep. At his side, Kiri slept blissfully unaware of what had happened. He considered waking her up and telling her everything, but after a few minutes deliberation decided against it. The morning would come soon enough, and with it the truth would be revealed. He sighed, running his fingers gently on her arm, trying to banish from his mind thoughts of the woman he met.

He had to trust in his relationship and in Kiri’s affection. He knew it would be hard, but turians had a history of ignoring the soulmate mark for the benefit of their position in the hierarchy. It would work for him and Kiri too. He didn’t love Shepard, he didn’t even know her name. They were just two people sucked into a sucky circumstance, but she’d said they could choose. And they would do just that. She had a boyfriend, and he was engaged. Once the whole thing with the kidnappings was solved, they wouldn’t even have to see each other ever again.

Everything would be fine, and life would go on as it had. Nothing had really changed, and nothing had to.

***

Shepard woke up feeling her head pounding. She groaned and turned to turn off her alarm, sitting up grudgingly. She stretched her arms above her before finally opening her eyes to look around. Thane was already up, she could hear him downstairs, probably having breakfast before heading out. She glanced at her clock, she had to hurry up for her meeting with Bailey and Vakarian. Besides she had to call Kasumi soon before the girl decided she’d waited long enough and appeared somewhere uncomfortable, as she had a tendency to do.

She took a bath and got ready. As she looked at her reflection, her heart picked up the pace. Her hands were holding her hair up, ready to put it in its usual ponytail. She felt a cold tendril starting in her fingertips and extending all the way to her toes. She usually wore her hair up, it made for easy management, but in a sudden blast of fear she let go of it, dark waves falling to her shoulders and covering her neck. Unable to face herself, Shepard turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

She walked downstairs and saw Thane sitting in the counter, sipping on his coffee. Thane looked up upon hearing her and turned to her smiling.

“Good morning” he said, and Shepard smiled trying to hide her nervousness. Thane held out an arm to her.

“Morning” she said, resting her weight against him in a familiar gesture that made her heart ache. Thane kissed the top of her head.

“Sorry I didn’t wait up for you, siha” Thane said, and Shepard shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it, I didn’t think it would take as long as it did” she said as Thane let go of her. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee.

“Is it an interesting case?” Thane asked, watching her from his place by the counter. Shepard turned around, leaning against the counter and drinking from her mug.

“It is, I’m supposed to meet Bailey to iron out the details and then meet Kasumi to tell her what it’s all about” she said, feeling almost like herself by talking about work. Thane nodded.

“Do you need me to ask Liara for anything before I go?” he said, and Shepard shook her head.

“Maybe later, when I have a real plan. I’m sure her resources will come in handy, so try not to fight with her, okay?”

Thane laughed and stood up, talking his dishes to the sink and kissing her on the forehead.

“I’ll be on my best behaviour” he said, and took the mug from her putting it on the counter. Shepard grinned as he leaned in and kissed her softly. “And that coffee better not be the only breakfast you have today.”

Shepard pouted but couldn’t fight the smile on lips as Thane waved goodbye from the door. The moment the door closed again, her hand touched the mark and she closed her eyes, feeling like crap for lying to Thane.

“What the hell am I going to do?”

***

Bailey watched as Garrus moved his weight from one foot to the other as they waited for Shepard. He wondered if they’d gotten along, Shepard was usually a very charismatic woman and he rather thought they’d get along perfectly. But since Garrus had arrived at his office, he hadn’t stopped fidgeting. He vaguely wondered if maybe it was an issue of xenophobia, but disregarded it quickly. Neither one had ever acted as if they hated other species. And he knew Shepard definitely didn’t begrudge someone’s race. She _was_ dating a drell.

There had to be something he was missing. Maybe Garrus had gotten in a fight with Kiri and still had nervous energy left over from the encounter. Maybe the case was finally getting to him. Or maybe he was just anxious to get started now that they had a fresh pair of eyes and outside perspective.

The shoosh of the door opening drew their attention, and Bailey was glad to see Shepard walking in. She glanced around and upon seeing them, she nodded.

“Morning, am I late?” she said, facing him and Bailey smiled.

“Not really, but I’m glad you’re here” he said, and he gestured to the chair sitting in front of him. Shepard and Garrus sat down, and Bailey noticed they barely made eye contact and had failed to greet each other. He arched an eyebrow but quickly decided to let it go. They had more important things to discuss than their attitudes. “Shall we discuss the case?”

Shepard nodded crossing her arms over her chest, immediately focused on topic.

“What did you have in mind?” she asked, Garrus sat straight up, as if uncomfortable. Bailey refrained from frowning and decided to focus on Shepard.

“I believe it would be best if Garrus here was suspended from C-Sec” he said.

Garrus shot up from his seat.

“What?!”

Shepard seemed equally surprised but remained silent. Bailey looked at them calmly, lacing his fingers together.

“It’s only to keep up appearances. As long as you’re working this case with Shepard, we have to make sure people don’t look too closely at what you’re doing. If it was discovered that you’re working together while you’re still a detective for C-Sec it would undoubtedly guide someone to what you’re truly investigating” Garrus sat down slowly, though his plates tightly closed and Bailey felt a little bad for how he’d decided to break the news. Well, he’d never really been a tactful guy. “We’ll have to make it look as if you’ve been suspended indefinitely from the force. I’ll make it seem as if Shepard is doing me a favor by hiring you temporarily so you can keep earning a paycheck. Hopefully this way we’ll dispel enough curiosity as to why you’re working together for a while. Long enough to solve the case, I hope.”

“What’s the excuse to suspend him without pay and without a real clue as to for how long?” Shepard asked, her mouth more attuned with her brain than Garrus’. Bailey had to stop himself from grinning. He knew she had leader material, and the fact that Garrus seemed to naturally follow her lead was promising.

“Money laundering” he said, and Shepard’s eyebrows shot up.

“My assets would be frozen” Garrus said, finally coming out of his daze. Bailey allowed himself to finally grin.

“Not yet” he said, leaning forward on his desk, “For now, it’s an accusation and it has to be investigated, since there obviously had to be ground to do so. Remember, you’re not actually guilty until so proven. But since we have to make it seem real, you couldn’t still be working with C-Sec until the charges are dropped or you’re proved innocent. We’ll assign someone to investigate the claims about you, feeding them false leads to keep it going as long as possible, and I’ll reassign the kidnaps to Nihlus since he is your partner and was technically already working on the case.”

He could see it was a bitter pill for Garrus to swallow, but Bailey knew it was the best way to allow him the freedom he’d need if he was going to work with Shepard. The woman did her best work when she had free reign, and frankly, he really didn’t think there was a better way to ensure they could be free of the red tape that would taint the investigation if it were to be handled by C-Sec. He liked to believe things worked when done by the book, but he’d seen enough of life to know it was rarely so.

“Once the whole thing blows over we’ll be able to clear your name” Bailey finished, his gaze now focused on the turian. He wasn’t an expert on their facial cues, but he’d become more familiar with them since he’d begun working on the Citadel. Garrus’ mandibles clicked nervously for a couple of minutes, his gloved fingers clenching and unclenching in a nervous tick. Shepard watched him from her seat, legs crossed and a hand on her chin, observing his reaction. She was already categorizing the man, measuring his worth. She could be ruthless, but Bailey knew she was an excellent judge of character. He trusted Garrus, and knew the turian would come through.

Garrus seemed to finally make up his mind, returning his boss’s look with determination.

“Who else is on it? Who can know?” Garrus asked, leaning over on his knees and resting his arms on them. Shepard grinned but hid it behind her hand. Bailey noticed and smiled briefly. He looked at them seriously.

“I’ve already spoken with Nihlus and Anderson” he said, all traces of mirth gone. He was all business now. “Other than that, I think you should let Kiri know but no one else” Garrus flinched almost imperceptibly, but Bailey noticed and frowned at the strange reaction. He decided to let it slide. “People must believe you’ve been suspended and that Shepard has hired you as a favor to me. Since you’re a detective and it is your first offense, we’re being somewhat lenient, allowing you the courtesy of letting you know before we actually suspend you, which is the point of this meeting. Right now, the news of your “ _accusation_ ” are being announced and soon enough you’ll start getting bombarded by the department and the news. You have to act accordingly. People don’t know why I called Shepard in today, but with the news out that you’ve been suspended, they’ll soon connect the dots. For now, refrain of telling anyone anything about the supposed favor I‘m asking. I’m sorry Garrus, you’ll have to ride the storm for a few weeks.”

Shepard looked over at the turian with genuine sympathy, and Garrus was looking at his hands lost in thought. Shepard and Bailey once more waited for Garrus to gather his thoughts before he spoke again.

“Kiri can know everything, right? The real truth?” he said, and Bailey nodded.

“She can know anything you choose to tell her, since she’s your fiance” he said, feeling more at ease now that they had moved along on the plan.

He turned to Shepard, knowing of her own relationship with the drell hunter. He’d debated long and hard if he should let her tell him about the case. He knew Thane was trustworthy, but the case was rather delicate. The woman was looking beyond him, through the glass of his office to the sky cars drifting in and out of view, lost in thought. She wouldn’t take it personally, he was sure, but he’d known her for years, trusted her judgment more than he did many of his own people. Maybe it would be best if he let her tell Thane too, even if they weren’t engaged as Garrus and Kiri.

“Then it’s alright” said Garrus, snapping him of his inner rambling. Bailey blinked and nodded slowly. “We need this to keep people off our scent, and a little rattling won’t ruin my career.”

“Excellent. Nihlus and I will help you as we can, but it will be extremely limited since no one can know you’re still working for the police. You’ll have to rely on Shepard and her resources, though in my experience that has never been a problem for her” he said and smiled her way. Shepard allowed herself her trademark grin, which seemed to surprise Garrus. “We’ll keep in contact via a restricted channel, and we’ll arrange meetings when you two deem necessary. Try to keep as little contact with C-Sec and me as possible, at least in public.”

“Can I tell Kasumi?” Shepard asked, and Bailey was a little taken aback by her question. Garrus looked at her curiously but remained silent. Bailey blinked slowly, he had forgotten about the young woman. He smiled a little.

“I think we established that when we first spoke but alright. Yes, miss Goto can be in the loop too” he said, and Shepard nodded gratefully. “Now, you two are free to go. Remember, out there a storm is brewing to greet you Garrus. I don’t think they’ll try to talk to you just yet Shepard, but there’s always a small chance it’ll blow your way too. You can begin the investigation whenever you want once you step out of C-Sec, from now on you are partners in crime. I’ll await your updates on the case. Good luck.”

***

Garrus and Shepard stood up. He felt nauseous, not having expected such a cover story for his time away from C-Sec. He supposed he should have seen it coming. His reputation would be tarnished, there was no way around it. He just hoped he could weather the storm. At least Kiri would know the truth, and if they succeeded in solving the case, eventually everyone would know too. It would be worth it. He had to believe it.

As they stepped out of Bailey’s office, Shepard turned to him. Officers were roaming about, and he could already feel the stares and hear the whispers. So, the news had been released as they spoke with Bailey, just as the captain had planned. He suppressed a shudder. His stomach was churning. Garrus started when he felt a hand on his forearm. Surprised, he saw Shepard resting her hand in complicity on his arm.

“You got this, big guy” she said through her teeth, barely audible for anyone but him. She let her hand fall and Garrus felt the mark at the back of his neck prickle when she let go. He tried really hard to ignore the sensation. “Whenever you’re ready, send me a holo.”

“Right. Thanks.” He hated the fact that his voice sounded hollow. He was grateful she couldn’t hear the subvocal tones on his voice, concealing his nervousness. Shepard smiled briefly before turning away and walking down the steps from Bailey’s office to the main floor and the exit of C-Sec. He was rooted to the spot, painfully aware of how his new mark seemed to ripple and itch when Shepard walked away from him.

He walked down the steps, head high, unwilling to let the rumors drag him down. He had already left his badge and gun in Bailey’s office. The show had to go on. He could see the reporters beyond the doors, and he could feel the stares and murmurs behind him. How quickly loyalties shifted, he thought. And yet, the main thing on his mind was the woman with green eyes that had just left, and whether or not she also felt a pinprick on the back of her neck as she walked away from him.

 ***

Shepard decided to skip work altogether. She sent Kasumi a quick message and shut down her omni-tool, knowing she would hear from her friend later. But right now, the bomb Bailey had dropped on their laps was enough. When she left the station, C-Sec was surrounded by reporters. She had managed to escape without drawing much attention, but she didn’t know how long it would last.

She laid down her head against the back of the sofa and closed her eyes. These had proven to be two of the most mentally excruciating days of her life. She groaned, feeling her mark tingle and frying even more her nerves. Irritated, Shepard let herself fall down on the couch and assumed a fetal position. This was something she hadn’t done since she was a teenager, but she decided to indulge in self pity for a while. She was so tired and they hadn’t even really begun to work together. What the hell else could happen now?

 ***

When Thane got home that afternoon, he was surprised to hear Shepard’s soft breathing from the couch in front of the fireplace. He looked at the time, and frowned a little. It was too early for her to be home. He shut the door quietly and walked over to where she lay, a small smile on his lips. She was curled in a ball on the couch, her chest rising and falling steadily. She must have been exhausted if she’d fallen asleep downstairs.

Thane reached over for the quilt they kept on the couch and covered her with it. Shepard sighed and moved in her sleep, more comfortable now that she had something to shield her. Thane’s smiled widened at the sight.

He was turning away towards the kitchen when he saw it. Curious, he turned back to Shepard’s asleep form and watched her neck. Her hair had fallen back, revealing part of her nape, and a purplish form was peeking through. He didn’t dare to trust his eyes, but was unable to look away. Slowly, with the practiced care of years as hitman, he got to his knee and brushed Shepard’s hair away.

His heart stopped for a few painful moments before he regained his sense. Slowly, gently, Thane stood up and watched as Shepard continued to sleep. Unconsciously he rubbed the mark on his hand and turned away, walking to the kitchen to make himself some tea. As he moved through the familiar steps, Thane tried to process what he’d seen. When he finished making the beverage, he turned back to the living room and Shepard’s sleeping form. He leaned on the counter and drank his tea. He wondered if she’d tell him, or if she’d try to shield him. He might not be her soulmate -something they’d both known from the start- but he knew her and loved her all the same. Therefore, he was willing to bet on the latter.

Thane finished his tea and left the mug in the sink. As he stood up and walked towards Shepard, he made up his mind. He knew what had to be done and he loved her enough to do it.

_‘I am tree that's carved up with her name, she is a warrior tattoo'_  

\- Amanda Palmer, ‘ _Melody Dean_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like it? I'm sorry it took so long to update, life's been crazy, as it happens. I'm hoping it won't take as long to update the next chapter. Anyway, I think this one's long enough to make up for the wait, right? ;)  
> I know this chapter hasn't much to do with the whole love/soulmate part of the story, but I'm hoping it was intersting enough as a setting for Garrus' and Shepard's work together. I'll try to balance it more, promise!  
> If you liked it, please leave a comment. Any suggestions or bold guesses about what's coming?  
> See you next time!


	3. Resist

“Yes sir, I understand. Don’t worry, they’ll clear everything out in no time” Garrus clenched his fist, trying very hard to contain his anger. Talking with his father was always trying, but with this? He kind of wished someone else could take the blame. “Of course I know it’s serious, but… Yes, I know. No sir, I don’t think this will affect my engagement to Kiri. Yes, sir. Yes, I’ll call her later. Goodbye sir.”

Garrus let the communication line die, closing his eyes and heaving a sigh. He knew the call was coming, as soon as Bailey had told him about his “solution” he knew his father would have something to say about the accusation. It didn’t make it any easier. He couldn’t tell his father the truth without endangering the whole mission, and if he was being honest, a small part of him relished the fact he didn’t have to tell him. Small acts of rebellion still tickled his fancy, even if he wasn’t a teenager anymore.

“So, how’s the family?”

Garrus laughed as the doors shut behind his partner. He turned to watch the other turian leaning against the wall with arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“Oh, fantastic, they’re just loving all the attention I’m getting in the media. It’s doing wonders for my career” he said and was rewarded by Nihlus’ laughter.

“I’d say so, just passing the hall I heard your name at least a dozen times” said Nihlus and Garrus groaned.

“Great” he said, and sat down heavily, rubbing his forehead with eyes closed.

Nihlus made his way towards the conference table and took another seat, watching him carefully.

“How you holding up?”

The hint of worry in his friend’s voice almost made him smile. Garrus sighed again and looked at him.

“Better than I expected. Though I’m not eager to get home and face Kiri” he admited.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Didn’t Bailey say you could tell her everything?”

“He did, but that doesn’t take the sting off of the news when she heard them. I don’t have a single message from her on my terminal, I’d have thought she would’ve called me by now. Maybe she’s even more pissed than I can imagine.”

“She does tend to hold a grudge, if memory serves” Garrus smirked, remembering several instances when Kiri had indeed showed she could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. But this time, she might be right in doing so.

“I have until the hour is up to leave the premises” Garrus said, glancing at the box with his things on the table. He knew it was all for show, but he really couldn’t help the fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. And the walk of shame that awaited him wouldn’t help in the least. He really wished there was some other way to get out of C-Sec with what was left of his dignity intact.

“I’m sorry” said Nihlus sympathetically. Garrus nodded.

“If you find out anything while I’m out, let me know. It might help my side of the case.”

“You got it.”

Garrus stood up, it was time to face the inevitable. He turned and picked up the box. A noise behind him made him turn around and come face to face with Nihlus. The turian was looking at him with wide eyes, an arm outstretched almost grabbing his own. Garrus was bewildered by his friend’s reaction and couldn’t understand what had happened. Nihlus seemed to regain himself and lowered his arm. Slowly, as if not to startle him further, Nihlus lowered his gaze and looked back at him again.

“Who is it?” he asked and suddenly the air turned heavy around them. Garrus felt the mark as if it was being branded all over again on his nape. Just as slowly as Nihlus had done, he left the box back on the table.

“Does it matter? I’m with Kiri” he said, voice level. A flash of green eyes appeared behind his closed eyes for a moment and banished when he looked back at his friend. Nihlus was now wearing his detective mask, all blank expression and Garrus instinctively did the same.

His carapace had provided him with a fair amount of cover, and his uniform dealt with the rest, but it was inevitable. Turians, like most species in the Galaxy, didn’t have the luxury of hair humans did. He couldn’t cover his neck as she could, people were bound to notice his soulmark sooner or later. He should’ve been more prepared for it.

“Yes, you are. But…” It seemed as if Nihlus wanted to say more, but like any good turian, he had been raised to believe soulmarks were just an alternative, and if it didn’t further your status inside the Hierarchy, then it didn’t serve any purpose. It didn’t matter that Kiri wasn’t his soulmate, they had chosen to be together, and the union had been already approved by their families. Nihlus shook his head imperceptibely, and looked at him. “You’re right, of course” he extended his hand and Garrus shook it. “Good luck, my friend.”

“You too.”

Picking up the box again, Garrus left the conference room. Having someone know was slightly better, and having that someone understand his position was better. He had to tell Kiri, about both the case and the soulmark. Hopefully, she’d understand both half as well as he expected.

He wasn’t very optimistic.

 ***

Kasumi looked up as Shepard entered the office. She looked a little pale, and Kasumi wondered if she’d been sick and that was why she hadn’t come yesterday afternoon. It seemed a plausible explanation. She returned her attention to the news displaying on the holo on her desk. A blue-marked turian was shown in different shots and photos, a fairly young detective that was accused of money laundering. It was his first offense according to all sources. She was curious about the scandal, C-Sec was rarely on the spotlight in these kind of things.

“Morning” she said to Shepard, the green-eyed woman mumbled something akin to a greeting as she made her way to the coffeepot. “Feeling better?”

“I will once I have my coffee” Shepard assured her as she turned and looked at her, resting her weight against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. “Anything interesting?”

Kasumi turned the volume up and rearranged the holo so Shepard could watch too.

“It seems one of C-Sec’s finest decided to enhance his accounts a bit and got caught” she said, watching the footage of the turian loop once more.

“Huh” was all Shepard said and Kasumi was surprised. She turned to look at her friend and saw she was pouring herself some coffee. Even if it was early and she didn’t feel much like herself, Shepard was rarely so inexpressive about dirty cops. Kasumi felt the beginning of nervousness prick her nerves.

“Are you kidding me? _‘Huh’_?” she said muting the news and walking towards her. Shepard shrugged and turned to her, unmoved by her sudden proximity.

“I would’ve thought you’d be more intrigued about Bailey’s favor, but if you prefer to talk about possible dirty cops…” Kasumi narrowed her eyes but she knew Shepard had her. The other woman smiled serenely, knowing just as well as she did that Kasumi couldn’t even pretend to be interested in some case she couldn’t do anything about when Shepard had dangled a real one in front of her.

“Fine, spill it. I waited long enough” she said crossing her arms over her chest, imitating what Shepard had done earlier. Shepard grinned.

“I’m actually amazed you managed to wait so long” she admitted and Kasumi nodded magnanimously.

“I’m a reformed woman” she said, and Shepard laughed.

 ***

It was a week later that Shepard found herself looking at the number display on the holo call. She unconsciously moved her head, making the soulmark scrunch and stretch in response. She hadn’t expected to hear from him while at home, but then again, she didn’t know the guy. It served no purpose to await until morning back in the office. He might want to finally start with the case and they really couldn’t keep stalling if they wanted to solve the kidnappings. She knew Thane would finish his shower sooner rather than later and come back down, but there really wasn’t much she could do about it.

The insisting ping of the incoming call drew her attention back and Shepard sighed. Composing herself, she shook her head once and answered.

The face of the turian appeared on the screen, and Shepard was drawn to his blue eyes. She didn’t remember they were such a light shade of blue and the realization made her shiver.

“Shepard, I’m sorry to call at this hour. I hope I’m not interrupting” he said, deep voice rumbling. Shepard shrugged noncommittally.

“I did say to call me when you were ready” she said, pleased with herself for remaining calm. “So, what’s up?” she said, making herself stop fidgeting. Vakarian moved his plates in what was a surprisingly human-like gesture of amusement.

“I would like to begin working on the case as of tomorrow, if you’re okay with that” he said, straight to the point and kind of formal. Shepard couldn’t help herself, she smirked.

“You know, I’m only supposed to be your boss in theory” she said, and was pleased when she noticed Vakarian was confused about her words. “You don’t need to be so formal” she explained and saw the confusion lift off his face. Vakarian cleared his throat.

“Yes, well. Turians usually work better under certain roles, as I’m sure you know” he said, and Shepard smiled genuinely amused by this admission of a species quirk.

“I do know” she said and was surprised to see the beginning of a turian smile on Vakarian’s mouth. “Anyhow, yes, we can start tomorrow. I’ll send you my office’s address and we’ll meet there at eight thirty”.

Vakarian nodded, all business again, and Shepard found herself studying his colony markings. It seemed he was actually _from_ Palaven, and not an outer turian colony. Huh. What the hell was he doing all the way out here on the Citadel?

“I’ll be there then, good night Shepard.”

“Good night” she answered and Vakarian closed the connection. Shepard lowered her wrist and the holo display automatically disappeared. She jumped when she found Thane standing before her, holding two tea cups. The drell smiled and offered her one of the cups.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, siha” he said, and Shepard felt her nerves on edge. She took the cup and looked at Thane as he sat down next to her, eyes on the TV.

“I didn’t hear you, I’m going to buy you a damn cowbell” she said, and Thane laughed at their joke.

“Old habits, my love” he said raising his arm in invitation and Shepard leaned into him, her eyes going back to the forgotten show on TV. “So, am I allowed to ask who the turian is?” he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Shepard winced internally and tried not to tense under Thane’s touch. It was bound to come up, she knew Vakarian wasn’t going to be a secret. She would have to work with the man and he had been on the news enough that his face would be immediately recognizable by anyone, let alone her former hitman boyfriend.

“That’s Garrus Vakarian,” she said and saw the recognition flicker on Thane’s face. She nodded when he turned to look at her. “He’s part of the favor Bailey asked me, we’re gonna be working together for a while” she said, trying to stick to the truth as much as possible. Thane studied her for a few seconds, lost in his own inner ramblings before nodding.

“He’s the one that’s been suspended, isn’t he?” Shepard nodded, drinking from her tea.

“Bailey vouches for him, though” she said and saw the moment of understanding in Thane’s face.

“Then I look forward to meeting him” he said, and Shepard didn’t know how to answer to that, so she just returned her attention to her tea and the TV, feeling like crap.

 ***

He was being absurd. It was ridiculous to feel like this, he was _home_ , with _his_ fiance. Once he’d come from C-Sec, Kiri had been waiting for him on the dinning room table, and asked just one thing, for him to explain. So Garrus sat down in front of her, watching her features change as he told her all about the case, the kidnappings and what he’d discovered. He told her about Bailey and his plan, and then, because it was inevitable, he told her about Shepard. Kiri was a practical woman. He observed, with no small amount of dread, for any subtle hints in her features. Her darker carapace and white colony markings familiar and somehow comforting. He suspected Kiri had already seen his soulmark, as it was nearly impossible to hide, but she’d given him space to tell her on his own.

“Are we still engaged?” she’d asked, and Garrus, surprised, reached out a hand to her and held hers.

“Of course we are. I love you” he’d answered. And Kiri had nodded once more, her features relaxing just a tiny bit, the only outward expression he’d gotten from her tension. She understood duty and honor, they were turians, he didn’t need to explain further because she understood and didn’t need any more reassurance from him.

So, he concluded once more as he sat down for breakfast before leaving, he was being absurd _and_ ridiculous.

Kiri sat down in front of him, and he was comforted by her company. She noticed him watching her and smiled.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked, her subvocals ringing with amusement. Garrus shook his head and looked down at his food.

“Don’t mind me, just anxious to get on with this case” he said, and Kiri nodded, satisfied with his answer.

“I hope this Shepard woman is everything Bailey made her out to be. I don’t much trust humans to be that astute” she said, and Garrus allowed himself a small smile.

“I guess I’ll find out just how good they can be” he said. Kiri made a noncomittal sound in the back of her throat.

“Sol called,” she said, Garrus glanced up.

“How’s she?” he said, and Kiri looked at him.

“Excited, she wants me to come to Palaven and buy some things for the Bonding” Garrus nodded deep in thought.

“You should go. You could get out of the Citadel for a while until things calm down a bit. You wouldn’t be harassed back home” he said after a few moments. Kiri looked down at her plate before spearing a piece of meat, the only way she allowed herself to show her anger with the whole situation. Garrus was grateful she didn’t channel that anger towards him.

Kiri sighed.

“I think I just might. I’ll wait ‘til you come home tonight and see where things are at regarding the case” she said and Garrus nodded again.

“I’ll try to be home early. Can’t imagine why it would be longer hours than back at C-Sec” he said and Kiri nodded satisfied, standing up and picking up her dishes.

“I’ll arrange everything with Sol in the meantime” she walked to him and lowered her forehead, pressing it against his. Garrus closed his eyes, basking in the familiar warmth that Kiri’s touch brought.

In the few seconds he was held by his fiance, Garrus really thought he could do this whole thing and that Shepard could never mean more to him than Kiri did.

 ***

He couldn’t stop fidgeting. As the elevator brought him closer to Shepard’s office, he could almost swear he felt something itching, just beneath the skin. Garrus didn’t know if the feeling was real or if it was just his imagination. He hadn’t seen her since that day on C-Sec. She’d wished him luck, and then vanished, dark hair flowing behind her. She was his soulmate and he didn’t know a thing about her. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

The elevator stopped, announcing his arrival at his destination, and he got out. A few people where walking around. He opened his holo and watched the map, he still had a little way to go. Deciding it was useless to behave like a fidgeting teenager, he shook his head resolutely and walked with his head held high. A few turns and stairs later, he saw the door with the eye and an amused laugh escaped him.

“A PI indeed” he muttered, walking towards his destination. He didn’t know if should knock or just open, so he remained indecisively in front of the door. Turned out, it was neither, the door opened up on its own, allowing him in. Garrus entered the room, and found himself in what looked like a reception. The room had a couple of armchairs and a little vacant desk.

He looked around, stepping on a dark red and worn carpet that muffled his steps. On the walls hung various paintings of diverse origins, some clearly human but he thought he could recognize some asari and even some salarians. A few model ships hung behind the abandoned desk. What was the point of having a reception if no one was there to receive him?

Garrus turned as a door he hadn’t previously noted opened and a human child with black hair stumbled out, a toy gun on his hand. He was pretending to shoot someone walking behind him.

“You really should hire someone, how in the world will you know if there’s someone out here waiting?” It was a human man walking behind the boy, who’d frozen at the sight of him. The man, a spitting image of the black-haired child, turned around to see what had caused his child to suddenly stop shooting. When he noticed him, the man smirked. Garrus cocked his head to the side.

“I don’t need another secretary. They misuse information and are very bad at being discreet. Besides, I don’t want to waste money on...”

Garrus felt his heart skip a beat, and he cursed himself for such a childish reaction. Shepard had entered the room behind the man and, much like the boy before her, she froze at the sight of him.

“Case in point” the man said smiling triumphantly, sweeping an arm to encompass him. This seemed to get Shepard out of her trance and she turned her eyes on the man.

“Coincidence. I still don’t think we need another secretary after bad Janet’s fiasco” she said.

“Who’s he?” the boy said, finally recovered and apparently fed up with his silent, unexplained presence. Shepard turned to the boy and smiled, a rare and unguarded smile that caught Garrus by surprise.

“That’s Garrus Vakarian” she said and finally turned to look at him, “he’s going to be working with me and aunt Kasumi for a while. Vakarian, this is my nephew Evan, and that’s John, my brother” she added, turning to the boy and the man in turn. Garrus inclined his head in acknowledgment. The man, John, nodded too and the boy looked at him with open curiosity. He wondered idly if maybe he recognized him from the numerous stories about him on the news. He kind of hoped he didn’t.

John, a tall and fit man, walked towards him and extended his hand, in much the same assured manner his sister had done. Garrus shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Vakarian” he said and smiled, an easy uncaring smile.

“Likewise” he said, and John Shepard smirked again.

“I wish you luck, my sister’s known as a trailblazer.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shepard said indignantly behind him, making John and his boy laugh, Garrus felt a smile tug at his own mouth but managed to hide it.

“Just what I said, sis, I wasn’t being subtle” he said, and turned to the boy, ruffling his hair. Evan ducked and scrunched up his face in annoyance at his father’s silliness. John laughed once more. “Well, we better get going. I’ll tell dad you’re still alive.”

“I’m not the one in the army, you know” Shepard pointed out, arms crossed over chest, an eyebrow arched. John shrugged and looked back at her from the door.

“And somehow, you still get more shot at than me” John said, making Shepard roll her eyes, but, Garrus noticed, she didn’t deny it. “See ya later, sis”.

“Bye aunt Laurie!” the boy called as he once more picked up the toy gun and started shooting light at the air. John disappeared behind the boy and the door slid shut behind them. Garrus felt suddenly nervous again, finding himself alone with Shepard.

“So… Shall we?” Shepard was looking at him. She was now pointing at the second door by the desk. Garrus nodded, coming back to his senses. Somehow, he hadn’t pictured Shepard with a family.

He followed her into the office, a darker room with two desks. One was alarmingly disorganized, and Garrus felt uncomfortable looking at it. There was a woman sitting with her feet propped up, tinkering with some kind of contraption and blissfully ignoring them. Shepard continued walking to the cleaner desk, much to Garrus relief. She sat down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk, and signaled for him to sit down on the other.

“I expected you in about twenty minutes, you’re early. Or absurdly punctual” she said with a grin, and Garrus laughed a little.

“I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find this place without getting lost, so I decided to get out early” he said, and Shepard nodded slowly.

“Well, then I guess there’s no point in waiting,” she said, and leaned back on her seat. “Kasumi and I took another look at your research. Kasumi?” she said and Garrus saw the other woman put down whatever she was working on and turning to them, watching him carefully. He was surprised by her sudden interest in him, but he tried to hide it.

The younger woman stood up and walked around the desk, pressing some buttons on her omni-tool. A holo display of the galaxy appeared in the middle of the office. Garrus stood up, impressed by the technology these two women seemed to have at their disposal without being part of the police or the military. He suspected this was one of the reasons Bailey trusted so much in her.

“So, we extrapolated the places where the kidnappings occurred, and the places where they later appeared” the black-haired woman said, pulling her omni-tool and the dots conforming the spiral appeared in the map like red stars. “Based on your findings, we came up with two possible places for the next strike, either in the Horse Head Nebula or the Exodus Cluster” the two systems appeared in green lighting, an apex to the spiral. Garrus had thought as much in his investigations, but it was refreshing to see someone else reach the same conclusion.

“Both are on Alliance Space, which is new to the spiral” said Shepard standing up, zooming out of the galaxy map. “So far, they have only worked within Council Space but they ran out of systems when they hit Aethon Cluster.”

“They might go for the Viper Nebula” Garrus felt compelled to point out, standing up and noticing how tall he was compared to both humans.

“I said the same thing,” the woman named Kasumi pointed out, and Garrus looked at her. She smirked. “And then Shep here pointed out that they hadn’t hit the Krogan DMZ either.”

“It’s too far out of the spiral” said Shepard, turning to the map, which responded to touch. She started tracing the spiral, a blue line following her finger. Garrus followed the path she traced. The spiral did indeed deviate too much when either the Krogan DMZ or the Viper Nebula were included. “Our best bet are the systems on Alliance Space. Which could mean they’re growing bolder, or that they’ve accomplished whatever it was they were intending to do here before expanding.”

“Would they risk such exposure?” asked Garrus, gaze focused on the map.

“I think it was much more dangerous hitting on Council Space first, but they avoided detection for the most part. Alliance Space wouldn’t be too much trouble, especially if they avoid the Local Cluster. And both the Exodus Cluster and Horse Head Nebula are inconspicuous enough to go undetected” said Shepard. Garrus nodded slowly, coming to the same conclusion as she had.

“So the question becomes, which system? And when?”

“We need to go there” said Shepard, and Garrus looked at her surprised.

“Go to both systems? That’s your plan?” he asked incredulous. Kasumi laughed, resting her weight against her desk.

“You clearly don’t know Shep” she said happily, smirking. Garrus ignored her in favour of the other woman. Shepard shrugged.

“Do you see any another alternative?” she said, without looking away. “We have no way of knowing which one they’ll target, and may I point out either is too vulnerable. I’d wager they’d hit Nebula, since Noveria is located there. A great hub with merchants of… cuestionable moral. The trade center would be a great temptation, and there are multiple species going in and out of there every day. It’d be easy enough for someone to go missing.”

“But we can’t rule out Exodus. There’s a relatively new colony on Eden Prime, there are researchers studying Prothean relics, asari and salarian mostly” said Kasumi, pointing to the Exodus Cluster. “It would be easy to infiltrate someone and kidnap anyone. We need to check it out, rule out that they’re not using some kind of technology discovered by these scientists.”

Garrus hadn’t considered that, and he felt properly astounded by their conclusions. The kidnappers might well be using some kind of technology derived from prothean findings. How had he not thought of that before? Well, it was obvious they were right. Either system was a good option, and there was no way of narrowing down the search more. He’d have to go out on the field, something he hadn’t done since finishing his mandatory military service on the Hierarchy. And aboard a human vessel, that would be something.

He discovered he felt both eager and reluctant. It would be interesting.

“Where would we go first?” he asked, knowing it would be a gamble and that the kidnappers might hit the one system as they checked out the other.

“I’m still waiting for some reports on both systems” Shepard said, and the map turned off. “But you should start planning for a trip. I think we’ll be ready to leave the day after tomorrow, though I don’t know when we’ll be back. Will there a problem?”

Garrus pictured Kiri’s face that morning, the easy trust and he wondered if she’d be upset about him making the travel. It was because of the case, of course, so really it shouldn’t be a problem. He shook his head slowly.

“I’ll make the arrangements tonight. Should I bring anything?” he said, and Shepard’s green eyes shined with an uncomfortably malicious glint.

“Don’t forget your guns” she smiled.

 ***

When he got home, Garrus felt nervous in a way that reminded him of his time in the military back on Palaven. He hadn’t worked out on the field for some time now, and he wondered idly why he stopped. Of course, the answer became clear once he was inside and Kiri greeted him.

“I was about to call you”, she said, her luggage by the door. Automatically, he leaned down to touch his forehead to hers and Kiri’s subvocals hummed in pleasure.

“You’re leaving right now?” he asked, eying the black bags. Kiri followed his gaze and nodded.

“I spoke with my father, he got me a ticket for tonight” said Kiri, shifting her weight.

“That didn’t take long” he said morosely and Kiri laughed a little, she looked back at him and put her hand over his chest plates. Garrus turned to her, looking into her hazel eyes.

“Once he knew I was coming, he wanted to make sure I made it back as quickly as possible. He wants to go over some details about the Bonding.”

“I can easily imagine what some of those _details_ might be” he said ironically, earning him a scowl on Kiri’s face.

“You know how difficult this has been for our families, they don’t know the truth and we can’t tell them until the time is right. You can’t blame them for reacting to the news as they have” she picked up her bags and turned back to him, her face relaxing and leaned back into his embrace. Garrus’ hands came to her waist and he looked back at her. “Try not to worry too much, I’ll smooth things over there with them and when everything’s out in the open, it’ll be easy to explain.”

Garrus made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, leaning once more to nuzzle Kiri’s forehead, and turned to watch her leave their apartment. He wondered if he should have accompanied her to the docks, but Kiri had always been adamant about such displays of affection, she didn’t want him hovering. Just as well, he didn’t feel much like going all the way to the docks and back when he could begin preparing for his own trip.

 ***

Rations were easy to get if you knew where to look for them. Shepard had a deal with some of the merchants down on Zakera Ward, and she made sure to have some extra dextro rations for her new turian member. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to equip her ship with dextro rations, since Tali had traveled with her for most her Pilgrimage and then some. She just hoped Vakarian would prove as tolerant of the unseemly food as Tali had been.

Shepard sighed and looked up at the _MSV Shadowmaker_ , which never failed to bring a smile back to her face. Her ship wasn’t as impressive as the one John was now a Commander of, but hey, the _Shadowmaker_ was beautiful on her own right, and it was hers.

“Shepard?” she turned to the voice, stopping herself from starting with a conscious effort. Vakarian was next to her, glancing from the corner of his eyes at her ship. She hadn’t noticed he’d arrived, and was now fumbling for words.

“No! You cannot tweak with my ship’s VI just because you want to see what happens!” Shepard winced and both turned to see the source of the altercation.

She really didn’t need to bother, as she already knew what was waiting at the other end. Shepard watched as Kasumi, long hair already hidden beneath her cloaked suit, trailed behind a beautiful lavender-skinned asari. Deme, her trusty pilot, was a very sharp and witty woman with low tolerance for people getting in her way. And Kasumi had a special knack to get in Deme’s way.

“It’ll be quick! No more than five minutes,” Kasumi assured following Deme’s steps. Shepard wondered idly if she should intervene now or let it flow its course. Unfortunately, Deme’s purple eyes fixed on her and she made a beeline for where she stood with Vakarian at her side. Shepard braced for her arrival.

Deme stopped short of them, ignoring Vakarian altogether and directing her burning gaze to Shepard.

“If she so much as sniffs in the direction of my VI, I’ll flay her Shepard” she promised, and Shepard felt inclined to believe her. She turned to look at Kasumi’s pouting figure.

“You heard her” she said resisting the urge to smile. Kasumi’s pout intensified as Deme crossed her arms over her chest.

“You wouldn’t stop her?”

“Deme just gave you fair warning, I’m not going to stand in her way,” this time, Shepard did smile. Deme, satisfied, arched an eyebrow in Kasumi’s direction and the girl huffed.

“You two are no fun,” she declared before turning away and redirecting her steps to the _Shadowmaker_. Vakarian seemed a little lost in translation, as if the human-asari interaction had baffled him, Shepard smiled. Deme smiled too, before turning to them again. This time, she did acknowledge Vakarian with a nod.

“Thanks Shep, this our new member?”

Typical, as soon as she’d gotten her way, Deme was all sweetness and smiles. Shepard rolled her eyes but nodded turning slightly to Vakarian.

“This is officer Vakarian,” she said, and Garrus inclined his head, “Vakarian, this is Deme Edara, the _Shadowmaker’s_ pilot.”

“Nice to meet you, Vakarian” Deme said and Garrus nodded again.

“Likewise, flight lieutenant.”

Shepard and Deme both arched their brows, looking at each other before turning to Vakarian, who once more looked baffled. Deme laughed a little.

“I like him, can I keep him?” she said, and Shepard laughed too. She turned to Vakarian.

“He’s already taken, Deme” she said and Deme sighed dramatically.

“Shame, could’ve shown him a good time,” she said, and without another word, turned back and walked towards the ship’s entrance.

Shepard turned to Vakarian and finally took pity on him, smiling up at him.

“We’re not a military vessel, so we don’t really have a ranking system _per se_ ” she explained, and saw understanding dawn on Vakarian’s features. She smiled and started walking towards her ship with him on tow. “Deme is our pilot, and Kasumi is one of my engineers along Ken and Gabby. Then there’s also Steve, James, Samantha and Ralon. I’ll introduce you to everyone later.”

“That’s a pretty small crew,” he observed, and Shepard shrugged.

“I like doing things my way, and that doesn’t sit well with everyone. So, I take people who like to do things my way, we’ve grown really close. And when we need to get on the field, I usually just take Kasumi and James, they like getting shot at as much as me,” she said with a smirk, and felt Vakarian’s amused gaze on her.

“That so?” she laughed.

“Hope you like getting shot at too, Vakarian, or you’ll get more acquainted with _Shadow_ than with the case” she said, and Vakarian made a strange vibrating sound with his subvocals.

“I’ll manage” he said and Shepard’s smiled widened. She turned to him once more.

“The crew tends to grow and shrink, depending on the job. I’ve had krogans, asari and a couple of times even quarians aboard for a time. They usually stay for as long as it takes to finish the job, and then they move on, but I’ve made a few very good friends who now and then come back. Deme complains I use _Shadow_ more as a hotel than a ship, but, since it’s still my ship… Well, I guess I _am_ sort of the Commanding Officer,” she finished with a toothy grin. Vakarian pulled his mandibles in thought for a few seconds, watching her for signs she didn’t understand, but he finally seemed to come to a decision and he nodded.

“Commander it is, then” he smiled his turian version of a smile, and Shepard could’ve sworn he had just made a joke.

Feeling more at ease in his company than she’d imagined possible, Shepard laughed again.

 ***

Garrus froze, the voices becoming meaningless chatter in the background. His eyes snapped up, searching instinctively a pair of green eyes, so different from his. And he found them. Shepard stood next to him, and she held her hand up as his hand closed around the datapad. Nobody had noticed anything, the small crew going over their instructions. He could feel the soulmark, an insistent warmth that had suddenly intensified as they’d touched. Shepard had handed him the datapad, mindlessly explaining the layout of the colony they were going to. He hadn’t been wearing his gloves, and the second they touched without something between them, he felt the soulmark come to life. From her reaction, he gathered she had felt it too.

They were frozen in that instant, blue meeting green across a small abyss. She was the first to look away, and the instant she did, Garrus could breathe again. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. The meeting was over, so he felt relatively safe to leave. But in the back of his mind, he knew he was running away just as much she was.

 

_‘Well, I somehow slowly know you and wanna keep you away’_

\- Massive Attack ft. Hope Sandoval, ‘The Spoils.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> So, sorry it took so long to update, but I've come to realize I won't be able to update as much as I want to for a time. I hope you won't mind too much. I haven't abandoned this story and fully intend to finish it, so just bear with me please!  
> If you find any mistakes, please let me know, and as always, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. The world is turning

Nights aboard a ship were Shepard’s favorite thing. She could see the stars from the window above her bed, perks of being the captain. The sound dampeners and the eerie silence of the universe surrounding them soothed her. She had known of many people that despised the silence, feeling it like an oppressing force on them. People described nights as the most difficult to adjust to when in spaceflight, it seemed to drag them down. It was disorienting, the day/night cycle operated merely by the lights within the ship. Shepard loved it all. She felt right at home when she was in her ship. Lying on her back, gazing up at the stars as they passed by, she allowed herself to think about the mark on the back of her neck.

She hadn’t looked at it much, as if by avoiding it she could pretend it didn’t exist. It had worked, to a point, but that was before Vakarian had boarded her ship.

Shepard sighed and closed her eyes, her arms behind her head. She resisted the urge to trace the mark with her fingers. Vaguely, she wondered what Vakarian was doing, and immediately felt guilty for not thinking about Thane instead.

She still hadn’t spoken to him since the trip had started, aside from a few lines in a message which he had promptly answered. Shepard tried not to squirm uncomfortably, reminding herself that this was not out of character for her. When on missions, she tended to get carried away, and rarely answered calls from home, a fact her father was fast to remind her of and chastise her for. John merely laughed, it was a family trait the siblings shared.

Remembering her family brought a smile to Shepard’s face, and she opened green eyes to the vastness of space again. She felt immediately calmed by the sight. Things with Vakarian could become complicated, but she doubted it’d get to that. Taking a deep breath, she stood up and stretched her arms over her head. They’d get to Noveria in a few hours, she could get herself something to drink and still catch some sleep.

Stepping out of the elevator, Shepard ran her fingers through her hair and stopped short of the kitchen. Her heart skipped a beat, noticing the tall form of the turian silhouetted by the contrast of shadow and the low light that ran the ship in the night cycle. He was fixing himself something on the stove, still unaware of her presence. Shepard felt the sudden urge to flee, turning around on her heels and get back up to her room. She suppressed the impulse with some irritation.

 _< For the love of… You’re a grown woman, Laurie, pull yourself together!>_ she reprimanded herself, but still, she would never admit it took great effort to make herself walk the rest of the way to the kitchen.

Her steps finally caught Vakarian’s attention, and he turned to her, cocking his head in silent query. She forced a small smile to her lips, hating herself for how she was acting.

“Late night, detective?” she asked, and Vakarian let out a surprised laugh. He turned back to his ministrations.

“One of many, always had trouble sleeping before landing on a planet” he said, eyes fixed on what he was doing. “What about you, Commander? Didn’t expect to run into anyone this late,” he stopped for a second and Shepard heard the rumble of his subvocals thrum in what she had come to recognize as laughter. “Well, aside from Deme.”

It was Shepard’s turn to laugh, an image of her asari pilot marauding around the ship vivid in her mind. Deme slept very little, and had the tendency to wander around the ship during the night cycle. She was probably around somewhere, she might even run into them.

“I had a craving for some tea, you know, to sleep better” she said, walking towards the shelves and stopping herself from reaching out. Vakarian was in her way, and she hadn’t noticed. She normally wouldn’t think twice about reaching over one of her crew members, but Vakarian wasn’t just anyone. She retracted her fingers midway, hoping Vakarian hadn’t noticed.

But of course, he had, and now he was looking back at her with that same questioning glance.

“Need something, Shepard?” he asked, honestly intrigued, and Shepard was proud that her smile didn’t fail her or betray her nervousness.

“I was gonna get a cup, but I’ll wait for you to finish” she said, and Garrus laughed a little. He reached up in front of him and got her a cup, handing it over to her. Shepard smiled happily, and proceeded to fill it with water. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, turning back to his late night snack.

For a few minutes while her water warmed up, Vakarian turned to lean against the kitchen island and started eating whatever he’d prepared. They were in a companionable silence, and Shepard found herself relaxing but the mark in her neck began to itch. She wondered if it was an actual itch or if the sensation was something more psychological.

“Didn’t figure you for a tea drinker” said Vakarian suddenly, and Shepard turned to him cradling her cup between her hands. She raised an eyebrow and grinned.

“Reminds me of my grandparents back on Earth, habits and all that” she said, shrugging. Vakarian made a noise in the back of his throat, and Shepard wondered if he was curious, though he certainly didn’t show it. “What’s your poison, Vakarian?” she said, blowing steam away from her cup.

Vakarian had finished his snack, and walked over to the sink. Shepard moved one step over, watching him. Idly, she wondered how different it was for turians to handle things with just three fingers instead of five. The thought fled her mind as Vakarian turned his blue eyes on her.

“I don’t get why humans use that idiom” he said, and chuckled at her expression. Shepard, caught unaware, laughed.

“I’d never thought about it” she said shaking her head. Vakarian shook his head, paying it no mind.

“Doesn’t really matter,” he glanced around, gathering his thoughts. “I guess I don’t have one. Not a favorite one, anyway. Kind of depends on the mood,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Shepard looked around her ship again, feeling the calmness surround her and she felt a smile pull at her lips.

“Makes sense, I suppose everyone’s the same way” she said, and felt Vakarian give a little nod of agreement next to her. She cocked her head slightly, looking over at the turian. “Won’t you be tired if you don’t get some sleep? Come to think of it, I have no idea how you’ve been sleeping.”

Vakarian shrugged one shoulder, looking over at her. Shepard felt a slight tingle in her fingers at the sight of the man beside her.

“Don’t worry about me Shepard, I’ve been in turians’ military ships. I manage just fine. I’ll be ready when we get to Noveria.”

Shepard smiled, satisfied with the explanation. She turned around and it was Vakarian’s turn to move over so she could wash her cup. She did so in silence, feeling Vakarian’s eyes on her and the tingling feeling returned to her neck. Shepard tried not to squirm under his gaze, suddenly self-conscious. Was this the mark’s doing? Was she condemned to feel self-conscious and nervous when he was around? That simply wouldn’t do. Forcing herself to swallow her nerves, she turned a bright smile on Vakarian, and was glad to see she’d surprised him.

“Well, you’d better catch some shut-eye, Vakarian. We have a big day tomorrow,” she said and Vakarian nodded almost imperceptibly.

“Same to you, Shepard,” she turned around, taking a step towards the elevator.

“Night, Vakarian,” she said looking over her shoulder, the turian still hadn’t moved from leaning against the counter, arms across his chest.

“Good night, Commander.”

Vakarian’s voice accompanied her to the elevator. And she was trying very hard to ignore the fact that the tingle had returned in full force as she walked away.

***

The trip to Noveria had been a bust. At least so far, or so Shepard insisted on telling herself. They’d found nothing of interest for their case, although there was definitely a lot of illegal deals going around. Then again, that was standard for Noveria so not much of a lead either way. She was frankly irritated, and trying very hard not to show it.

Shepard huffed and moved her weight from one foot to the other. James, by her side, was looking out the window to the blizzard with an expression of intense boredom, which she didn’t think was an expression one should have when witnessing a blizzard. Kasumi was tinkering with some artifact she’d picked somewhere around the base and that Shepard was heroically choosing to ignore. Vakarian, on the other hand, looked quite uncomfortable, looking everywhere _but_ at the blizzard. She tilted her head curiously.

“What’s up, Vakarian?” she said, and he turned to her hiding a grimace.

“Nothing,” he said, shifting slightly. Shepard arched an eyebrow at him and he hid a sigh, “Turians don’t feel very comfortable with… _cold_ weather,” he said finally, moving uncomfortably under her gaze.

Shepard blinked, surprised.

“What?” James said, snapping to attention. Vakarian shifted more under the combined gazes of the humans around him.He looked away from them to the blizzard.

“Well, we tend to have a higher body temperature than other species. So, I don’t particularly thrive in the cold” he said bitterly, and James laughed, Kasumi’s eyes lighting with amusement.

“You’re shitting me” James laughed, and Vakarian ignored him. Shepard had to fight the impulse to laugh too.

“Well, your suit should keep the worst of it off, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it big guy” she said, grinning.

“I’m _not_ worried” he grumbled somewhat irritably, making them laugh once more.

“Whatever you say, Vakarian” she said as they stepped off the elevator.

“So, wait, turians don’t like cold? You don’t have like, winter sports or anything like that?” Kasumi said, stepping off the elevator and matching Vakarian’s long strides with surprising ease. Shepard hid a smile, Kasumi could be very determined when she wanted, and Vakarian’s long legs wouldn’t be an obstacle.

Vakarian moved the plates over his mouth reflexively.

“I’m scared to ask what you mean by winter sports” he answered the black-haired woman, interest piqued. James scoffed, Vakarian had taken the bait. Shepard shook her head, glancing briefly to the skies in search of some answer to her pleas for patience. He was on his own now, Kasumi wouldn’t let go until she was bored, or something else caught her interest. Whatever happened first.

“You’re kidding, right? Snowboarding? Skiing?” Vakarian’s blank expression elicited a loud laugh from James, causing Vakarian to turn to him in wonder.

They were now standing by one of the many windows in the hallway. Shepard was forced to stop as Kasumi was staring at Vakarian with genuine incredulity.

“I don’t know what those are” he admitted, and Kasumi almost gasped.

“Are you serious? How about sledding? Ice-skating? Luge? Curling?” Shepard was impressed by Kasumi’s knowledge of winter sports, and made a mental note to ask about it later. Vakarian, meanwhile, had the same blank expression on his face.

“You’re making some of those words up, right?” he said, and Kasumi did gasp then. Shepard decided it was time to intervene.

“Alright, enough,” she stepped in between Kasumi’s bewildered figure and Vakarian’s looming tall body. She pointedly ignored the prickling sensation on her nape, and crossed her arms over her chest facing James and Kasumi. “As enlightening as I find this conversation, we should be focusing on the mission, and right now we are stuck if I remember correctly, so why not turn your brilliant curiosity elsewhere for a while? We can interrogate Vakarian once we leave Noveria.”

Kasumi seemed to get out of her stupor slowly, blinking away from Vakarian and focusing on Shepard. She nodded slowly, and turned back to follow James’ steps, who’d started walking away when Shepard moved in between the other two. Shepard lowered her arms and looked over her shoulder to grin at Vakarian.

“Do you really not know any of those things or were you messing with Kasumi?” she asked, and Vakarian returned her grin with one of his own.

“Shepard, I’m honestly offended you think I could possibly be messing with one of my crew mates. Shocked, really.”

She let out a laugh and started walking with Vakarian by her side, feeling significantly better.

***

As soon as they’d entered the ship, Deme had announced they were stranded. Noveria was in lockdown for the next twelve hours since the blizzard had intensified considerably. Grumbling some more, Shepard had declared everyone had down time for the night. They’d check again in the morning if they’d be able to leave for Eden Prime. As such, Garrus had wandered back to his room and brought up his omnitool.

Garrus touched Kiri’s contact picture on the omnitool and waited for her to answer. A few moments later she answered, white markings standing out in the light of her room. It was strange to watch her back in the room where she’d grown up in. Kiri smiled at the sight of him, and Garrus did the same.

“Hello Garrus, I’ve missed you,” she said, and he grinned.

“I’ve missed you too. How’s Palaven?”

Kiri started to move around her room, and Garrus glimpsed the setting sun on her window, it was a beautiful sight, and he felt a little pang of nostalgia at the thought of his childhood. She was moving some bags around, the contents of which he could not fathom.

“It’s hot, as you can well imagine. Sol and I went shopping for a few things for the Bonding Ceremony.”

Garrus hummed noncommittally, he’d had little to do with his wedding so far, an advice his father had given and he’d happily obliged. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was more of a ‘ _don’t mind_ ’ kind of thing. He cared about Kiri and the commitment they were making, everything else was… Well, he didn’t mind.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” he decided to show just the right amount of interest, he really didn’t want to fight with Kiri. She continued moving things around, but he could see the smile on her face and felt a low warmth on the pit of his stomach.

“Not yet, but I found some of the things I wanted. Fortunately, Viri had put them on hold last time she called before I came. She and Sol have been tremendous help,” she assured him as she sat down on her bed, organizing whatever was in the bags and being careful not to show anything on video. Garrus thought about his sister and Kiri’s own sister going on a shopping spree and was decidedly worried about the state of his finances once the Bonding was over. Those two should never have met. Ever.

Deciding he didn’t want to know what those two had decided they needed for their Bonding, Garrus steered out of the subject.

“And how are your parents?” he winced inwardly, dreading the answer. Kiri paused momentarily what she was doing and gazed up at him. He saw the answer in her eyes before she even spoke.

“They’re not very happy, Garrus,” she said softly, Garrus cursed silently. Kiri looked away for a second before turning back to him. “They don’t understand what’s going on, and my dad is really angry. He’s told me to call off the wedding twice already, and I told him I wouldn’t. And then he suggested we postponed it. Until everything is sorted out, at least.” Kiri sighed, and Garrus had to pinch his nose, closing his eyes in frustration. He already expected something along those lines, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. “Maybe, if I could just tell them…”

“No,” said Garrus firmly, opening his eyes to look into Kiri’s. She was taken aback, looking at him in silence, but he could see she was hurt. “Kiri, please understand, if more people were to find out…” he stopped himself from saying more, knowing even that could endanger the mission. He looked back at her, begging her to understand. “It’s just for a little while. Then we’ll explain together, I promise.”

Garrus waited in silence for Kiri to compose herself. He knew she’d always needed a little time to get herself together after a disagreement. So, he waited for her to calm down.

True to form, Kiri breathed in deeply a couple of minutes before smiling a little his way, and Garrus knew he was forgiven.

“Together then,” she said, and Garrus nodded. Kiri’s smile gained force and he could hear the joy in her subvocals.

“Of course” he promised again, and Kiri’s face lit up.

“Oh, I almost forgot, guess what we did yesterday?” she said, leaning back on her arm. Garrus cocked his head to the left, intrigued.

“What?”

“Dad took me to look at some houses around the city, isn’t it great?” she said brightly, and Garrus felt his stomach clench at the thought.

Houses? What were they looking at houses for? He wasn’t planning on moving back to Palaven, as much as he loved his home planet. He lived in the Citadel, his life and his career were there, he didn’t want to leave. Did Kiri want to leave? She’d never said anything. His throat was suddenly dry but Kiri appeared not to have noticed his growing alarm.

“Dad wants us to check out houses close to home, that way they can help when we have kids, and we won’t be too far away from your dad and Sol. Next time you’re here we’ll go and see them together, what do you think?” she didn’t wait for him to answer, too wrapped up in her excitement to notice the silence from Garrus’ side of the line, “I’ll send you some pictures I took yesterday of the ones I liked best. Of course, nothing’s set in stone. We have to pick together, naturally, but it’s good to have some options lined up,” she was smiling, looking very happy, and Garrus felt his stomach clench even more at the sight. He didn’t know what to do or say, and suddenly he didn’t want to talk anymore. He cleared his throat and forced a smile on his face. It hurt.

“Listen Kiri, I… I should really hang up now, it’s a little late on my side, I should get some sleep,” he said, kicking himself for such a lame excuse. Kiri stopped in her happy explanation and looked at him with surprise.

“Oh, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry, Garrus, of course. You should rest,” she said, still looking a little dazed but arranging her face in a smile. Garrus felt awful for lying to her, but he kept on with the stupid charade.

“Don’t worry, Kiri, it was my fault for calling so late. I just wanted to see you and talk for a while,” he said, trying to ease his guilt. It helped a little that _that_ at least was the truth.

“I love you, Garrus, have a good night,” Kiri said, her smile coming more naturally. Garrus returned the smile, still feeling the knot of lead in his stomach.

“I love you too, have a good time and go out with your family. I’ll talk to you later,” he said, and Kiri nodded, hanging up.

For a couple of minutes, Garrus stared at the wall opposite him. The dreading sensation didn’t disappear, and he felt like he was about to explode from the tense energy inside him. He stood up, walked out of his room and decided to get some water to calm down.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and then he looked up to find Shepard sitting at the table, hands wrapped around a ceramic cup and green eyes on him. For just a second, he was breathless, the knot in his stomach gone. When his eyes met hers, she lowered her cup and smiled up at him.

“Can I interest you in a cup of tea, detective?” she said and Garrus almost laughed, but his stomach had decided it was a good time to do a somersault.

“I, ahm, I didn’t think anyone would be awake. Sorry,” he said, finally finding his voice. He was surprised when Shepard’s lips curved into her usual grin.

“What for? You’re not confined to your room,” she said easily, her voice tilting in a laugh she didn’t bother to hide. He moved on his toes uncertainly, unsure why felt chastised.

“In that case…” he said, composing himself.

He walked the rest of the way to the kitchen, shaking off his nerves. He took out a glass and filled it with water. When he turned around he found Shepard had turned to him, hands still holding her cup, and she was drinking while looking at him with an amused glint in her eyes.

“We keep running into each other at such strange hours,” she observed, smile playing in her lips, and Garrus smiled too.

“Indeed,” he said, and leaned against the counter, “Bad work habit?”

“More like bad line of work,” she said, and Garrus laughed. “Then again, there’s nothing else I’d rather do.”

“Makes two of us,” he said, feeling the truth of it inside him.

“Like attracts like, it seems,” she said, and Garrus nodded in agreement. Shepard stood up and left her now empty cup on the sink before turning to look at him with her easy smile. “See you tomorrow, detective.”

“Sleep tight, Commander,” he said as she disappeared in the direction of the elevator doors.

He stayed until he finished his water, feeling considerably lighter than when he’d left his room. Then, he decided it was time to turn in.

It wasn’t until he was already falling asleep, lying on bed, that some part of his rapidly escaping consciousness pointed out that he’d felt better _after_ seeing Shepard and not after seeing Kiri.

 ***

Shepard turned to Kasumi with something akin to exasperation. Her friend shrugged.

“It’s a good lead, I promise” she said, looking back at her with big eyes.

“You want us to go check out some kind of signal, of unknown origin, to an unknown source, just because it, and I quote _‘seems funny’_?” she said, Kasumi was almost bouncing on the balls of her feet from excitement.

“Man, it sounds like a terrible plan. We should definitely do it,” said James smiling, and the worst part was that Shepard knew he was serious. She sighed and looked over at Vakarian.

They were still on Noveria, the lockdown was still on effect and they were running a last supply run. Since they couldn’t leave, Shepard felt like she was losing her mind inside the ship and decided to stretch her legs under the excuse to buy last minute supplies. She hadn’t expected Kasumi to find anything.

Shepard brought her hand up to her neck, massaging a tense spot beginning to form there. She was itching for something to happen, but they really shouldn’t leave the main hub if they wanted to leave soon. Pondering her options, she finally sighed and extended her arm, turning on her omnitool.

“Send me the coordinates and let’s see if we can’t borrow a land vehicle,” she said, and was regarded by a pair of enthusiastic eyes and a slightly unnerving pair of blue alien ones.

“We’re on lockdown, Shepard, I doubt anyone will lend us any sort of vehicle in this storm” Vakarian felt compelled to point out. He hadn’t seen Kasumi already disappearing under her camouflage, and James stretching to the side. Shepard had to laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, are you coming detective?” she said brightly, and she could almost see the wheels turning in his brain as he glanced at James.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said, and fell in line with her and James.

“Excellent,” she said happily.

***

“I just want to say, this was a bad idea!” Garrus yelled over the sound of the blizzard and taking cover against a wall. The comm crackled with furious wind, and he spared a few seconds to thank whatever Spirits were watching over them that his suit was holding up against the storm.

“Isn’t it awesome?” came James’ answering yell as the burly human stood up and shot happily back, a roaring laughter emanating from him.

“Where’s your sense of adventure? Too much time behind a desk?” said Kasumi, but she was nowhere to be seen. Garrus grumbled as he lined another shot.

He would never admit it, but it _had_ been a while since he’d been on the field. Not that that had affected his reflexes at all, he was still a very proficient shot.

The merc on the the other side of his visor couldn’t see him clearly, and because of it, he didn’t get the chance to duck when he fired with steady hands, even in the blasted snowstorm. The man fell down, and Garrus immediately went back to cover. On the piece of rubble lying beside him, Shepard was crouching as she waited for her chance, a small grenade in her hands. She began to glow in the telling blue of biotics before she turned towards their attackers.

“James!” she yelled, and the man rolled over as she released her overload, making a couple of the mercs’ suits short-circuit. Then she threw her grenade and the men were lifted into the air. Immediately, James and Garrus picked them off, and Garrus saw how a man somewhere to the left fell victim to Kasumi’s shadow strike.

They were quite an efficient team, Garrus was impressed. But fighting in a snowstorm was a stupid idea for anyone, regardless of efficiency. Visibility was deteriorating quickly, they needed to make their get-away soon or they’d be overrun either by more mercs or the mindlessness fury of the blizzard. He turned to Shepard as she was shooting suppressing fire at the mercs.

“We need to get out of here, Shepard,” he said, and Shepard turned to him, eyes shinning with determination.

“Yeah, I gathered as much,” she said as she shot a couple more rounds into the oncoming mercs. There was an absurd number of them still coming from the base. She studied their surroundings as Garrus covered her. “Kasumi, any chance you’re getting our escape car right about now?” she said, breathing hard and beginning to glow once more with biotics.

“Well… I’ve got some news about that…” Garrus didn’t care very much for how that sounded, and Shepard’s groan seemed to say she shared the feeling. “It looks like our friends over here found it and decided it would make a nice addition to their collection, so… No, I don’t have our escape car.”

“Great,” Shepard said, getting out of cover and sending a blue wave in the general direction of the mercenaries, making the ones closer fly out of its path. James didn’t waste Shepard’s help, and with his gory shotgun began closing in on the ones closer to them.

“We need to at least get out of this storm,” Garrus said to Shepard, not bothering to use the comm’s channel. She kept on firing, though her eyes roamed around, she nodded almost imperceptibly.

“There’s some kind of bunker somewhere on our six, might be another base. With any luck it won’t belong to our new friends,” she said, nodding in the general direction she’d said. Garrus turned slightly in between shots and barely made out the outline of the base. “Kasumi, get over there and see if you can open a door or vent or anything, we’ll cover you and follow.”

“Got it.”

Kasumi’s shadow strike stopped eliminating targets on the battlefield, but their combined effort was enough to keep the mercs distracted of this slight change.

“James, change weapons and get back here” Shepard ordered, throwing another wave towards the mercs, giving James a clear path to them. As he ran backwards, James switched gear and opened fire without a hitch. They were really good fighters, and Garrus wondered who had ever let them escape the Alliance. He knew somewhere behind them Kasumi was trying to pry open a way into the bunker. They just needed to hold on until she did.

As he glanced briefly backwards, he felt the sting of a bullet making contact with his left arm.

“Dammit!” he growled, getting behind cover. Shepard looked at him from the corner of her eye as James braced himself beside her, keeping up the attack.

“You ok, Vakarian?” she said, and Garrus nodded, pressing the omni-gel dispenser on his suit, feeling instant relief.

“Just a bruise,” he said, recharging his sniper and leaning out of cover to shoot.

“If we don’t get out of here fast, bruises won’t be all we’re getting,” said James, and that made Garrus realize the toll this fight was already taking on them. Shepard _hmmd_ grimly, keeping up the barrage of fire power.

“Anytime now, Kasumi,” she said.

The silence over the comm could mean anything, but they kept on fighting, buying Kasumi whatever time they could. The mercs were getting closer, but the three of them kept retreating further in the direction of the bunker.

Garrus heard the moment a bullet made contact with James’ thigh, the man fell to his knee for a couple of seconds and Shepard jumped in front of him, sending another blue wave towards the enemy while he covered both of them from the mercs trying to surround them. James got back his bearings and retreated to were Garrus was hunkered. The comms crackled back to life and Garrus almost sighed in relief.

“Got it, sending the location, I’ll cover,” Kasumi said.

“Copy that,” Shepard said, turning slightly to them, “Wait for an opening, and then run,” she ordered. Garrus felt inclined to argue, but the blizzard didn’t seem to be losing any momentum, and their pursuers were also keen on getting to them. What in the Spirits did they have in that bunker? So, instead, he just nodded in acquiescence.

As they got a few meters closer, the mercs hot in pursue, Garrus was distracted by the sudden blue glow surrounding Shepard. He was stunned into inaction by the sight of her glowing like a small star as a slow growl emanated from her. James, however, didn’t seem to share his surprise, he just took hold of his arm and started pulling him.

“Now’s not the time to stare, man” he said, still trailing him along.

“Shouldn’t we help? Cover her?” Garrus asked though he didn’t stop.

“That’s what _she’s_ doing,” James said over the storm, running towards a point where presumably Kasumi was waiting for them.

Garrus risked another glance back, breathing heavily, and in spite of the blizzard and the distance, his keen hearing picked up the shout leaving Shepard as she released the built-up biotic attack, buying herself the brief window of opportunity. He could make her silhouette out through the snow, running towards them, but the attack had taken its toll on her.

Concern for their leader made his steps falter, and Garrus stopped short of where James was helping Kasumi keep a trapdoor open against the tempest. Kasumi and James urged him to follow, but Garrus didn’t want to leave Shepard to her luck, so he ignored them and took a step back towards her, without going any further than that. Damn him and his turian nature, he _had_ to follow orders. He compromised by waiting for her there, in the imaginary border between obedience and defiance, while anxiously using his visor to spot any mercs closing in on them, sniper rifle ready.

Shepard ran the last steps towards him, and gazed up through her helmet. He couldn’t make out her face, but he could picture her face doing something in the lines of scowling. However, she didn’t say anything and they made their way to James and the trapdoor together, bullets flying at random.

“Get in, both of you” Shepard said, voice sharp with effort. Garrus frowned at the order, thinking surely she should get in first since she was obviously the most affected of the three.

He took James’ place holding the door and urged them to enter. James shot him a strange look before lowering himself through the opening. It seemed he didn’t have any problems following Shepard’s orders. She, on the other hand, seemed like she’d very much like to argue with him when a shot grazed her helmet, and Garrus took his chance and pushed her in.

As more shots raced around him, Garrus jumped inside the dark opening, shutting the trapdoor above him with an ominous clang.

He noticed right away that they were now in total darkness, and that the place was pretty tight. Glancing around, he could just make out Kasumi’s shape meddling with some kind of mechanism, presumably to keep the mercs _out_ , and them relatively safely inside. He also saw both Shepard and James cramped in the small space, the only light coming from their suits.

“We’re in the ventilation shafts, it seems this base is in a hibernation of some sort,” Kasumi explained as she fiddled with the complex circuitry in rapid motions. Garrus heard a satisfying buzz above him and was fairly certain she had managed to lock the mercs out. Kasumi was truly a great hacker.

“I assume there’s a better way out of here, one that preferably doesn’t involve getting back out on the storm and the mercs,” Shepard said, head leaning back in the cramped space. James snorted in agreement.

“Sure, let me just finish with this thing and I’ll have a way,” Kasumi answered easily, fingers sliding dexterously.

After a few minutes were they caught their breaths, Kasumi got a blueprint of the place and took point to get them out. James fell in step behind her, seeing as he was the second one down the shafts and it would have been very difficult to change places with Shepard or himself. They all had to crawl, and Garrus was definitely not happy about that. His carapace wasn’t made for that sort of constricted movement. But he didn’t complain, and he crawled behind Shepard, covering the rear.

Kasumi disappeared around a bend and it was James’ turn to crawl over a particularly long grate, which groaned under the strain of his weight. Garrus didn’t think too much of it, as he waited for Shepard’s turn. James also disappeared around the bend, and then Shepard moved over the grate, Garrus close on her heels. Then he felt the lurch in his stomach. Shepard paralyzed, turning minutely back at him as best she could, and they both felt the moment when the grate came loose with a deafening metallic groan and they were both plunged into darkness.

The grate rattled loudly in the darkness, followed by the muted sound of two bodies hitting the ground about three meters down.

Garrus landed with a muffled _humpfh_ , the air knocked out of his lungs. As he struggled to regain his breath, he heard the telling sound of a helmet being pulled off and Shepard’s sharp intake of breath. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who got the wind knocked out of them.

“Shepard, Garrus! Are you okay?” the alarm was evident in Kasumi’s voice, and Garrus managed to turn himself on his back, looking above. He could just make out the profile of Kasumi and James looking down on them from an impossible height.

“Fine,” Shepard managed, trying to get back air into her lungs. Garrus mused about the wisdom of taking off her helmet in an unknown environment, but he decided he didn’t care much at the moment. Besides, it seemed to be working for her so he followed suit and took off his own helmet.

“Hey, ugly?” James asked, and it occured to him that they can’t very well see him from that distance.

“’M okay” he rasped out, and heard a collective sigh of relief, making him feel a sudden tug of affection for them.

“We can’t pull you out this way,” Kasumi said from her perch on the vent, “I don’t think the vents can handle much more weight, and we can’t really maneuver in such close quarters.”

“That’s okay, just get to where we planned originally, and then make your way back through the hallways, we’ll wait here,” Shepard said, looking up at her friends, “Once we’re together, we’ll get out of this hellhole.”

“You got it, Lola” said James, and then him and Kasumi disappeared through the shafts once more, leaving Garrus and Shepard to wait for them in the dark.

***

“Personally, I’m counting this as a win.”

Garrus looked up sharply at the comment, astounded beyond words and staring at Shepard’s ragged figure slumped against the wall opposite him.

“You’re joking,” he said eventually, feeling his arm protest his motions. “We are _trapped_ , in a _sealed vault_ , in _Noveria,_ ” he gritted each word through his teeth, nursing his arm. He was a having a really tough time counting this as a win.

Infuriatingly, Shepard grinned in spite of the broken lip the fall had caused, regarding him with a mischievous glint to her eyes.

“Could be worse. At least no one died” she said and Garrus had to fight the sudden urge to smile at her stupid optimism.

“We just got a little bit shot at, that’s all” he said in tenuous imitation of her nonchalance. Shepard laughed, and immediately groaned placing a hand over her midriff.

“All in a day’s work” she agreed happily, though Garrus noticed she was more careful with her movements. Garrus grunted noncommittally.

He leaned his head back, staring at the dark ceiling as they were once more surrounded by silence. The only light came from their suits, since the vault was plunged in darkness and needed no light. They were lucky there was a heating system somewhere nearby to keep the worst of Noveria’s unforgiving cold away. Whatever was stored in this particular vault most need some degree of heat, and therein lay their luck, since otherwise they could’ve ended up in a vault that required no warmth at all and then they would be certainly dead. Or dying. Either way Garrus shuddered at the thought of so much cold. All in all, he reluctantly agreed with Shepard’s previous assertion of their current situation, it _could be_ worse.

He could hear the wind howling, just beyond the vault. He just knew the blizzard was once again over them. They should’ve left the Spirits’ forsaken planet as soon as they’d noticed there was no lead for the case. But they just had to follow Kasumi’s bright idea, and Garrus cursed himself a little for not arguing more against it. He had to admit, grudgingly, that a part of him did want to investigate too. He’d missed working the field, and even the flimsy prospect of some action had held great allure.

He sighed, listening to the blizzard’s unforgiving winds, and wondered why he had acted like a damn teenager on an adrenaline high.

“Tell me then, fearless leader, what’s the plan now?” he asked, turning his head sideways to look at her, unwilling to keep sulking.

The shadows played tricks with such dim lights, and he was suddenly mesmerized by how the light seemed to transform Shepard’s hair from her usual mahogany into something like languid fire. He couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering over the shining waves as Shepard turned to him.

“Well, since I don’t really feel like going out into a snowstorm, I was thinking we should wait for Kasumi and James. Then we’ll see about sending Steve some signal or something and hopefully he can come close enough to get us out of here and back to the Shadowmaker,” she said and Garrus found he believed her rather far-fetched plan. In any case, he was also reluctant to find their way back through the blizzard.

“Fair enough,” he conceded, and they lapsed once more into silence.

He turned back to his inspection of the ceiling, and allowed himself to think of the last time he’d spoken with Kiri. He still hadn’t told her about the fact that he didn’t want to go back to Palaven, and he was dreading that conversation more than he was willing to admit.

His mind went back to the moment before they jumped into the shafts, and he moved uncomfortably. He knew Shepard had been angry, but she hadn’t said anything about it, and he was torn between needing to know and possibly being told off. He decided to let it slide, unless she mentioned it.

“How’re you holding up?” asked Shepard after a few minutes, and Garrus turned back to her, surprised by the question.

He took stock of his injuries and decided they were mostly superficial.

“Just a little sore,” he said, and cocked his head to the said, reading the lines on his visor about her, “How about you?”

Shepard smiled, and her bottom lip, the one that was split, stood out. It was swollen.

“Never better,” she said, one arm resting over her raised knee. Garrus smiled back.

He wondered if Kiri would have been so easy-going about the whole situation, or if it was a turian defect to find fault with flaw. He was certainly feeling less cheery than his humans companions, they just seemed to brush things off and kept going. In a way, he admired that sort of laid-back nature. Even hurt and trapped, with no other option but to wait, Shepard seemed alright. She looked around with mild interest, and if it hadn’t been for her injuries, he was sure she’d be roaming about looking at whatever was kept in the vault with them. She didn’t seem in any particular hurry to get out, she trusted her team to rescue them, and so, she waited. If he was being honest, he was in awe. He didn’t know if would have fared so well had he been the one in charge. And he was surprised she wasn’t grilling him about his blatant disobedience. It was certainly quite different as to how a turian commander would have acted in her place.

“You’re quite a good shot” Garrus found himself saying, thinking of what had transpired earlier.

Shepard, who was leaning against the wall, opened one eye and looked at him with a lopsided grin.

“I’m trying not be offended by that statement there, detective” she said, her smile overtaking her features and Garrus felt himself blush. He was suddenly very glad that humans didn’t usually notice the subtle variations on turian’s skin color. He chuckled and shrugged.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant, well, I guess I’m wondering why you aren’t working for C-Sec, or the Alliance or something like that. You definitely don’t lack the skills. Neither do Kasumi and James, for that matter. How in the Spirits did you manage to slip away?” he said, genuinely interested, scooting closer to her.

Shepard’s smile remained firmly in place, and she laughed a little.

“Hmm, well Kasumi never wanted to work in something so... pedestrian I guess, so she never even tried. James _did_ join the Alliance for a while there, but it turns out it wasn’t for him, so he left. And Steve followed him. Which was perfect because that’s how they both ended with me, Anderson pointed them my way,” she smiled playfully, as if she really thought she had gotten a great bargain when the two men arrived at her door. It might have been at that, Garrus thought distractedly, James was certainly useful in a fight, and Steve was a very proficient pilot.

“What about you? I understand your brother is Alliance,” he said, thinking back on the files he’d read about her. Shepard turned towards him, tilting her head thoughtfully.

“Yeah, John always was a sucker for that kind of thing, then gain I joined too so I can’t exactly mock him for it,” Shepard stopped and smiled shrugging, “I completed the training, I was even recommended me for the N7 program, but…”

“You… You turned down the N7 training?”, asked Garrus, with conflicting emotions about this information. Even in the low light, he could see she was blushing, and she looked away from him for a couple of seconds.

“I’m an N5, I never completed the last levels,” she said, shifting a little under his gaze, “I realized I didn’t like all the red tape that comes from working for the government, so why commit further? I think I would have preferred being a Spectre, but as there are still no positions for humans there, well, I let go and found something I liked better.”

Garrus felt a pang of guilt run through him, as if he was personally to blame for the fact that humans still weren’t allowed to become candidates for Spectre positions. He knew it was stupid, and he knew Shepard wasn’t blaming him, she was just stating a fact, but he couldn’t help himself. He shifted uncomfortably until he felt Shepard’s hand on his outstretched leg. He looked up at her stunned.

“I quit, Garrus, and I’m happy about it,” she said softly, her smile taking on a gentle quality. “Don’t look so worried.”

Garrus tried to answer her smile with one of his own, the soft pressure of her hand on his leg an unexpected comfort. When she removed it, he felt a little jolt he decided to ignore.

“Have you talked to your brother?” he asked, unwilling to keep torturing himself. Shepard raised her eyebrows in surprise but her easy smile returned, putting him inadvertently at ease.

“No. John and me aren’t very fond of calls while on missions. We send my father messages from time to time so he doesn’t worry, but that’s about it,” she said, and turned her head to the side, hair falling in a mesmerizing way over her shoulder. Garrus had to force himself not to break eye contact with her. A sudden image of an unknown man at Shepard’s side appeared behind his eyelids, and he remembered that she was with someone, just like he was.

He cleared his throat and looked at her, “You don’t call your boyfriend, either?”

He meant to sound amicably interested, but he wasn’t sure he had quite managed it. Shepard blinked surprised, her smile faltering, and Garrus realized the mood had shifted ever so gently into something he couldn’t quite name.

“Oh, I…” she seemed to have some difficulty looking at him now, and Garrus cursed himself for bringing that up. He noticed Shepard’s hand shoot out unconsciously to the back of her neck, and he felt his own hand twitch in response, his mark suddenly flaring as he watched Shepard touch hers. “No, it’s ah… It’s kind of the same with Thane as it is with John, I guess. He understands this kind of work.”

“I see,” Garrus said, and looked desperately anywhere but at her, feeling suddenly too close to her. He regretted having brought up the subject. He hadn’t even known her boyfriend’s name until that very moment, and he was sure it could’ve been avoided altogether if he’d just kept his mouth shut.

“What about you and your fiance?” Shepard asked, and Garrus felt his gaze drawn back to her. His eyes locked with hers, and he felt trapped by her clear gaze.

“We talk sometimes, but it’s hard to match times when you’re traveling on a spaceship,” he said, hand clenching into a fist at his side. He didn’t want to betray just how nervous he was suddenly feeling.

“Do you miss her?” she said quietly and Garrus felt a shock go through him. Did he?

Slowly, he nodded, “Yes.”

Shepard nodded too, thoughtful, but she didn’t ask anything else. She let her hand fall to her knee in an unconscious manner, and her eyes freed his, looking around once more. Garrus felt compelled to look at her, but he forced himself to look away. _Of course_ he missed Kiri, he loved her. His gaze turned back to Shepard, studying her in the low light before looking away.

The mood shifted slowly again, leaving them in companionable silence. Garrus let himself relax, closing his eyes in the darkness. It was easy, being alone with Shepard in the stillness, and he wondered if maybe that wasn’t necessarily good.

 

‘ _It’s something that’s uncomforting, your body has a way with me, but I’m exactly where I wanna be, but I’m a long way from home_ ’

\- Low Roar, ‘Bones’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *N7 training is as explained on the Mass Effect page. N1 through N5 is specialized training on Earth, while N6 is real life combat experience throughout the Galaxy, with only the best being ranked as N7.


End file.
